Posts Tagged ‘Thomas Rosicky


Rosicky reveals his injury and I watch Arshavin NOT get injured (knock on wood)

I did WHAT???
For my one non-American reader, this is a reminder to set your clocks to America time* tonight. For my American readers, this means that 3pm kickoffs in London now revert back to 7am kickoffs here in America. YAY.

For the rest of you, there is an Arsenal story today. It’s about Thomas Rosicky and his horrible injury. I guess he’s completely healed from the surgery to repair the damage from tearing some ligament completely off his knee. I’ve predicted many times that he will never play for Arsenal again and I would gladly be wrong.

He doesn’t just score goals, he scores amazing goals and Arsenal have missed that creativity at times this season. Here’s a video of what Arsenal have been missing with Thomas out:

But more than just great goals, I especially like that he’s talking about his passion for the game and how he’s burning to play again. Again, that’s a quality that the Arsenal have been lacking at times this season (Adebayor, we’re all looking at you) so getting him back full of piss and vinegar would be incredible important. Just having him push the kids in training would be important enough, but if he cracks back into the starting lineup and shows that passion on the pitch, that would be amazing.

Anyway, Gods speed goal-scoring-elf we need our #7 back.

Right, that’s it, I’m off to watch Arshavin destroy some little country and pray that he doesn’t get hurt.

*This is a joke, please don’t get your knickers in a twist over this and start talking about what a wanker I am for being an American. I’d be a wanker if I had been born in England too.


I cut myself Arshavin

My neck hurts, my ego hurts, and I just don’t think I can do it any more. I think I have to quit playing competitive football. I don’t mean stop having kick arounds or 5-a-sides, I mean sprinting 100 yards, turning around sprinting another 100 yards only to be beaten by a woman 10 years your younger in front of friends and family. In fact, the only reason to finish out this season would be to exact some type of revenge against the cock sandwiches (the bad kind) who beat us mercilessly yesterday, and if I did that I might “accidentally” hurt someone. No, it’s best if I just hang up my boots and just kick around with the old people on Sundays.

Maybe I can get a job as a local football announcer now that I’ve “retired?” Either that or car salesman.

What a drag it is getting old.


Let’s see, what news is there for me to crack jokes about…

The Thomas Rosicky Return Clock seems to be counting in the wrong direction. Now the club is hopeful he’ll return in January and if he suffers any further setbacks? The rumor is that they will rest him for the remainder of the year.

There’s the eye-rolling-story-of-the-year, that somehow Patrick Vieira would return to the EPL and play for Roy Keane at Sunderland. The only way those two are getting within 10 yards of each other is in one of those Celebrity Boxing matches — which I’d pay to see!

One of the funniest things I’ve ever heard: Joe Kinnear’s x-rated rant (Not Safe For Work) as read by some speech reading software. You know, I have access to this kind of software, I wonder what the blog would sound like as read by one of those? Hmmm… I’d need some more colorful language.

Adebayor is tired of waiting for airplanes. No, wait, he’s retiring from international football to concentrate on Arsenal, that’s the ticket. This stunning development means that Arsene will now have three people to work with for the next two weeks: Ade, Denilson, and Almunia.

Finally… The Andrei Arshavin saga continues to play out with the player now completely rejecting a move to Hotspuds. The rumor being spread by his agent is that a “top four” club are going to buy him for $40m. Well, let’s parse this out, shall we? First, his racist ass club are refusing to let him go for less than $40m and they have oil money to back them up so they aren’t going to cave on this demand. I’d argue that that price tag completely rules him out of a transfer to Arsenal, except that Arsene is acting kind of erratically right now. Who knows, maybe Arsenal is interested. Second, Man U is not interested, where would they play him? Third, Liverpool are broke, even if they wanted him they couldn’t raise the money. Fourth, Chelsea seem the likeliest candidates as they have a lunatic Russian in charge who has a proven prediliction for paying over the odds for overrated players. They also have a great love for stocking their bench with all stars, which was basically the Mourinho method of winning 17 League Cups and Charity Shields or whatever it was that Chelsea won: that all star isn’t working, OK, let’s throw on some other all star! It was sheer genius.  I say it’s Chelsea, because only they have the salary to throw around (in the form of debt!) and the $40m (in the form of debt!) to pay his racist ass club, and the desire to stock their bench with the world’s most overrated players.

Anyway, I hope lots of people click on the blog today because I used the word Arshavin, it’s my number one search term, you know.

Until tomorrow, you cock sandwiches (the good kind!)


You won’t have Theo Walcott to kick around any more

It’s funny, up until this morning, even I had this impression that Bolton is Arsenal’s “bogey” team (the team that haunts them). I know where I got this impression, it’s hard not to have it, it’s drilled into in every single article that leads up to this “big match.” The problem is that the facts are Bolton’s strength has severely waned since the departure of Fat Sam, Anelka, and el-Haji Diouf (the diving runt). They are still the same pack of shit kicking, talenless, classless, cheats but without Anelka, the cheat, and Fatty they don’t have the same teeth that they used to. Arsenal have proved that fact by winning all four of their last encounters.

I’m not saying it’s a walk in the park, rather the opposite, it’s a hard fought affair but one that Arsenal should be able to win. Add in that the Gunners are currently one of the stingiest defenses in the country (knock on wood) and one of the most prolific offenses and I think we’ve got to be going there confident. Meanwhile, the Bolton boss, Megson, has had to trump up confidence after a disappointing start to the season for the Trotters

You lose a few games and there is a crisis on the horizon, but I think that is the same everywhere. It is strange. We have only played four games – we all know where we are, we are eighth from bottom – and people are talking about a crisis, but I think that is just normal in football nowadays. That is how it works. The only way you can get out of this situation is to get some points and then the crisis will be deemed to be elsewhere

You know that when someone says that there isn’t a crisis, it’s almost as if there has to be a crisis, right? So, given all that and the 4-0 drubbing of Blackburn and I think you can see why I’m brimming with confidence that they will get a good result today.

Earlier in the week Wenger insinuated that he would rotate the squad, but given that Nasri, Silvestre, and Diaby are still out (along with long term injuries to Dudu and Rosicky) there isn’t much rotating that he can really do. I kind of figured that he would play Eboue in the right wing and rest Theo and swap Song for Denilson in midfield but the dot com is saying that both Theo and Denilson will start today. I still think we’ll see Eboue start today and maybe Bendtner will get a chance ahead of Ade, after all, Adebayor looked jaded last time out.

So, that’s the team we got and they better be ready for hard tackles, swift counters, and long balls over the top: oh and that huge ass Kevin Davies. Up the Arse!

Long Term Injury News

Wenger finally revealed some details about what’s going on with Thomas Rosicky. In his own words

He is not close to playing again and he has not had any real setback, but the evolution [of his injury] is very slow, the recovery process is slower than we expected at the start. It doesn’t look worrying but the delay is longer than expected.

He had a re-attached tendon that was loose in his hamstring, and that demands a lot of time to re-coordinate the movements of the hamstring. That makes it very difficult to predict exactly one week more or less how much time it will take.

But I am optimistic that before Christmas you will see him in a good shape.

He had a loose tendon in his leg? What the shit? That’s hideous. I have really never heard of such an injury. I’ve heard of doctors using the hamstring tendon to create a new MCL but never anything like this. How long was he playing like that I wonder? I know I joke around about the guy being injured but honestly I just wish him the best of luck and a full recovery. Take as much time as you like little guy, it’s just important that you get fully healed up.

Ok, with that I’m off to watch the rest of the Newcastle game… ugh they’re down 3-0. Am I the only one who kind of hopes that they really struggle causing a massive player exodous this January and Arsenal can pick up someone? Who though? Martins? Ugh, they dragged a goal back but they just look dismal. Maybe we don’t want anyone off their team. Which means that Wenger will buy Nicky Butt (JOKE!).


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May 2020