Posts Tagged ‘Pompey 0-3 Arsenal


Pompey 0-3 Arsenal; it’s a News News News News of the World

Match Reports

News of the World: Nicklas Bendtner fires up the Young Gunners

Match Video

I would link to News of the World, they claim to be #1 for video, but territorial restrictions prevent us Americans from seeing their video.  As it turns out the only videos I can watch on their site are videos of scantily clad women. Go figure.

Man of the Match

Aaron Ramsey… I KEED, I KEED! Arshavin was brilliant in the roles that Cesc is currently playing on the team; as captain and as the player “in the hole” behind the strikers. I’m not taking anything away from Cesc, but Arshavin showed everyone how that position was supposed to be played yesterday. Everytime I watch him play he impresses me more, his long passes, his short passes, his vision, his understanding of the game, his shooting, his dribbling, basically he’s the complete player.

Basically, Arsenal sold Hleb, who scored a grand total of 7 league goals for Arsenal and who demanded to be played in the spot that Arshavin occupied yesterday for £12m and used that money to buy an actual football player.

The Good

Bendtner scored… Arsenal kept a clean sheet… undefeated now 21 in a row… 4th place secured… 3rd place still within reach… no one was injured… it was a good day!


The Bad

Everyone is hailing Ramsey as having a great game but the stats just don’t add up: he only won 1 challenge all day and his passing percentage was below average for an Arsenal central midfielder. In addition, I felt like Wenger subbed him out because by the 60th minute he was looking jaded. Yes, he’s young and he certainly shows flashed of brilliance, but yesterday was not his best game.

Also, Pompey should have gotten at least one goal.

The Ugly

Real Madrid were mauled by Barcelona yesterday and promptly made Arsene Wenger a huge offer, according to News of the World. Also according to NotW, Wenger promptly told them to piss off. This isn’t a surprise because Wenger is under contract and has said time and again that he will honor his contract.

Injury Report

No new injury news, Arsene Wenger is saying that Robin van Persie is a late test for Tuesday but that if he’s not 100% fit, he won’t be played.

We don’t know if Van Persie will be available, if he is 100 per cent fit he has a very good chance, if he is not he will not play in a game of that stature, that is for sure.

That’s a bit of a strange thing to say. I mean, it’s not like we’ll have anything left to play for if we don’t win on Tuesday. Moreover, we need to win 2-0 to go through outright so scoring is crucial. So I can’t see the logic of reserving one of Arsenal’s most prolific scorers, unless the player doesn’t want to play, or… if maybe you think you’ll have to remove him too early.

The rest of the team remains as reported on Friday: Gallas, Dudu and Rosicky are out for the season, Clichy is out for several more weeks (read “the rest of the season unless we play in the Champions League final”), and Silvestre is “short” for Tuesday with a groin pull.

So that’s about it for today, see you tomorrow.

P.S. Newcuntsle lost to Liverpool and are now pretty much assured of going down. I feel bad for the supporters but that’s what you get when you have a team with more criminals and lawbreakers that the Bush administration.


Liveblogging Pompey v. Arsenal

Top o’ the morning! Coffee is on. Stan Kroenke is the majority shareholder. Nick Webster is talking about how Arsenal were lucky in the Champions League. All I need is a half dozen Beyonce commercials and I can relax and sinck into the mediocrity that is a Fox Soccer Channel broadcast.

Back in a moment, need more coffee.

Ok, got the old Henry strip on, it’s the 2002-03 “third” kit.

Wait, 2003-2004, invincibles.

Just like old times, Matt! Well, not exactly, because I have a 1 year old daughter who is getting into everything and trying to take the computer from me. And now she’s crying!


Let’s see, some lineup news: Cesc and Adebayor are rested, Song and Djourou are playing in central defense, Arshavin and Theo up front, and a huge hole in the striker position. Here’s the actual lineup: Fabianski, Sagna, Song, Djourou, Eboue, Walcott, Denilson, Ramsey, Arshavin, Bendtner, Vela.

I agree Darkhail, I also like that it looks like a 4-4-2. We haven’t seen that in a dogs age.

Fun fact of the day! Budweiser uses HOPS! I have probably had 1000  Budweisers and have never tasted a hop, so that is news to me.

How many will Andrei score today?

Kickoff: Whenever I see Pompey play, I’m reminded of just how many former Arsenal players they have: Pennant, Campbell, who else is on the pitch?

3′ — Pompey looks like they want some points out of this and have a tame shot that’s easily saved by Fabianski. That’s followed by a lovely move from the Капитан, who plays Walcott in who plays a fizzing cross that no one gets on the end of.

6′ — Walcott plays in Mr. Useless who shoots tamely, and then Pompey comes back and Bel Hadj has a shot. Wow, end to end action, I can hardly type fast enough!

9′ — Fabianski sort of comes out, shades of his gaffes against Chelsea, you’d think he’d have learned by noow: keep your hands in the game, lad.

12′ — Vela is hauled down in the box and that almost certainly should have been given a penalty, but Arsenal score off the resulting corner when Bendtner makes great contact with the ball and David James allows the ball to dribble over the line, showing why Almunia should be England Number One.

16′ — The Капитан now has 6 goals and 5 assists. He may be a bit portly, he may be a bit short, but he’s certainly f*cking amazing.

18′ — Vela will never get another chance like that, not in 1000 years. Wasted opportunity from someone who is normally clinical in his finishing. You have to think if he had played once in the last few months he would have finished that.

22′ — It was a strong header Darkhail, no doubt. Full credit to Bendtner for that.

26′ — Crouch should have scored there, it was a classic give and go that played him in and some schoolboy defending by the makeshift back two.

29′ — Not only was it a cheap yellow, Matt, but then Sagna has a foul called on him as Bel Hadj hits him in the face AND he won the ball.

32′ — Arsenal are all over Pompey, this is more like it, it looks like a training ground exercise.

36′ — Uhhh, that was a clear penalty, what’s his name there stuck out his leg and tripped the Капитан as he was going to goal.

39′ — Uhhh, why do I keep seeing our center back in central midfield? Hey, we get a penalty! I guess that makes up for Pamarot’s tackle a few minutes ago.

40′ — Bendter scores the penalty and is now on a hat trick.

43′ — IT’S A FUCKING PENATLY BECAUSE ARSHAVIN COULD HAVE GOT TO THE BALL HAD THAT CUNT NOT HAULED HIM DOWN. Welcome to English football Капитан, the fans are giving him no end of stick.

47′ — Half-time and Theo is having a bit of a struggle getting off the pitch. I bet he doesn’t come back on. Fran Merida for Walcott?


Fact of the first half: remember when Arsenal played Man U and I said Aveline had her kit on? Well, mommy (BAD MOMMY) didn’t put it on her and Arsenal lost. Fact: Aveline is wearing the kit and Arsenal have never lost while Aveline is in her kit. Coincidence? I think not.

Pompey increase their former Arsenal-ness and bring on Kanu to start the second half.

48′ — Arsenal are getting the booty end of the stick here from the ref. Maybeline? Again with the schoolboy defending by the Arsenal makeshift back two and John Utaka should have scored there. Arsenal haven’t seen much of the ball in the first 5 minutes of the half here.

53′ — Ye Gods! Pompey are eating our lunch right now! Gary Taphouse and Paul Walsh, for you Matt.

55′ — Oh gods… Pompey have another shot that should have been converted. But then Vela comes back and with a snap shot finishes in the only place that David James couldn’t get to… because he was out of position.

58′ — I’ve discovered the weak link in the second half here: Ramsey. He needs to put in more work, or come off. He’s playing in the central midfield role, for gods’ sake.

62′ — I think back to the blog I wrote that day, Matt, and how I pointed out that we were closer to 6th place than 4th… One day… one minute. It’s been that crazy of a  season.

69′ — Come on, this is game over, Bischoff is on, and Arsenal are in complete control.

77′ — I would totally be outside right now, but for the crappy weather up here. Noe Pamarot is sent off for a foolish challenge on Arshavin. The only story line I’m still looking for is whether the Captain will score, he deserves one for this performance.

83′ — #47 comes on for a listless Ramsey and our player numbers now total 417.

94′ — All done, shame that Eboue didn’t pass the ball back to Arshavin at the death there but oh well, I have seen the future and the future is very bright indeed.

See you all tomorrow!

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June 2020