Posts Tagged ‘Phil Brown is a knob

24
Jun
09

Setanta, Adebayor, and USA USA USA!

Not so special any more

Setanta Enters Administration

Yesterday, having failed to secure the funding needed to keep the UK business going, the UK version of Setanta sports went into administration — or as we call it in America, bankruptcy. Basically, as I write this lawyers and accountants are picking over Setanta UK’s corpse looking for something salvageable.

Supposedly unaffected is Setanta USA, but that’s not entirely true. According to their US web site, Setanta USA still has the rights to broadcast EPL (and whatever else crapola they are shilling) and will continue to do so as it is a separate business. This message is being repeated across all the sites that are not part of Great Britain — Australia and Canada.

For the time being, North American and Antipodean football fans should take some solace in the fact that the Setanta Sports package in our area is still available. I’m not sure how long that will last as we will have to see what the new Administrators of the mother company find as far as how Setanta kept the businesses separated and if there was any funny business. My feeling is that the whole enterprise is going to collapse, after all this is pretty much the same message they gave to the UK customers right before they collapsed “keep buying our product! everything will be ok!”

Irregardless, ESPN has stepped in last week and bought Setanta’s 46 UK games and just today announced that they are going to be setting up a dedicated Football channel in the UK. This is huge news for British and American football fans because it means that A) ESPN is taking the endeavor seriously and plans on dedicating a healthy amount of resources to doing this right. I mean, a dedicated channel means announcers, sponsors, commentary, a whole host of things! And B) it means that I was right about something for once! Not only did I predict that ESPN would take over the rights, but that they would do it up proper. Moreover, the naysayers who predicted that you’d get less coverage were wrong as well, in addition to the two other ESPN channels in the UK, they will be showing games on a third “football only” channel. For those that can afford the £10 monthly charge (and I am by no means glossing over that in these economic times) it means all the football you can handle. For the rest of you it means a day at the local boozer, which ain’t so bad is it?

Even if Setanta International survives the next few months and is able to broadcast games into North America next year (I don’t think they will) the games will be different. They will be ESPN re-broadcasts, folks. This means that Mr. Monchichi hair and his crew of fat tied half-time pundits will probably be replaced with just the Setanta bouncing ball/falling boot commercial running constantly — which will be a relief.  I don’t see them maintaining the business as it is and certainly don’t see them able to afford all those pundits salaries just to broadcast in ‘Merica. Hmmm… maybe, just maybe they will go the way that Fox Soccer Channel has gone and they will have some Americans and cut-rate ex-pats spouting nonsense. I wonder if I could get a job? First, I’ll have to expunge the blog of all instances where I called them “Shitanta.”

If Setanta International do collapse, ESPN now looks poised to take over those rights as well and beam games into American and Antipodean homes.  Like I said before these rights aren’t cheap and Setanta helped build the audience over here and now we’re hungry for more. We want HD broadcasts, our own dedicated channels, and football coverage that isn’t interrupted by College Handball on Saturday. Given the way they are handling the UK rights, I would be shocked if ESPN didn’t do this right over here as well.

Either way, it will be an interesting next few months as we see how this all plays out.

USA v. Spain

USA! USA USA! So, by some miracle of goal differential, the USA Men’s team advanced in the tiresome injury fest called the Confederations Cup. Man, I hope that the USA team breaks the ankles of all those Spanish players today (11:30am PST)!

Seriously, I actually will be rooting for the USA team to win, because that means Cesc can go home to England and get some rest before we start Arsenal’s next season. I know, blah blah Spain record, blah blah international accolades, blah blah blah. Arsenal need the captain well rested and ready to go for the start of the Summer training session. Last year, Cesc’s disastrous double vacation nearly saw Arsenal slip out of fourth place. So, more than ever we need the captain rested and ready to go at the start of training camp.

Adebayor

I’m surprised anyone wants to buy Ade, much less a “very important team.” How much you wanna bet Ade is a Gooner still next year and this is all just posturing by his agent?

If, as the rumors have it, he’s going to Chelsea I can only say one thing: we’ll throw in a barely used Silvestre to sweeten the deal!

Phil Brown to feel the power of the FA


I will be crying tears of joy when Phil Brown is found guilty of bringing the game into disrepute today.  Not only did he claim that the referees were in Arsenal’s pocket, but he lied about Wenger never shaking his hand, and lied again about Fabregas spitting all over everyone. He’s a liar and a cheat and dangit, if the FA doesn’t do something about him criticizing the referees then the whole “Respect Campaign” will have been a farce.*

I will settle for nothing less than Phil Brown being forced into a cage with a rabid Drogba.

Finally, the new web site is coming along

I have started making changes to the official 7amkickoff.com site and things are progressing up there very nicely. If you want to make snarky comments about how it looks feel free, I’m a grown up (today) and I can take it. If however, you know some CSS and want to make actual HELPFUL suggestions, well, that would be great.

See you tomorrow!

*lol

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22
May
09

Things I’ve Learned Today, a Pictorial Essay

All images click through to stories.

fab

Prat

wenger

Sorry guys, I'm sticking with Everton

I WILL CUT YOUR LAWN

£15m? That's a lot of Brede

six foot two and dressed in blue?

He's out of there quicker than goose shiat through a tin horn

19
Mar
09

An open letter to Phil Brown

Dear Phil,

Good morning, how are you feeling today? Better than yesterday? Still hungover? I ask because I can only imagine that it was drink that fueled yesterday’s incredible BBC 5 Live interview in which you quite clearly accused Cesc Fabregas of poor dress and Mike Riley of intentionally throwing the Arsenal match.

I just want to take a few minutes and respond to each of the accusations that you leveled against Arsenal in that 7 minute interview. Do you have time for that, my Darling?

Good.

First, let’s talk about your most factually based accusation: Cesc Fabregas was in fact “dressing in the manner he was dressed.” Here’s a picture to prove it:

fab-u-lous dress senseWhat a gross outfit! It totally is unflattering to his body type. What is up with the cuffs on that jacket? They make the puffy jacket look more puffy and the cuff on the bottom of the jacket makes it look like he’s smuggling a ham in the mid section there. If I weighed 11 stones I’d wear things that showed off my body a little more, rather than something that makes me look like I have a keg under my shirt. Good eye, Mr. Brown.

And while we’re on the topic of fashion do you mind if I point out that your spray tan is just a little too orange? What you want is a a healthy glow but not to make it look like you obviously tan. That’s difficult to do in a climate like England but it can be done, just cut back to like once every two weeks, rather than the daily treatments you seem to be taking. If you don’t slow down you’re going to start to glow in the dark, my Darling.

Now, another thing you mentioned in your interview there was how Arsene Wenger “never” shakes your hand

He wouldn’t shake my hand when we beat them fairly 2-1 at the Emirates. He wouldn’t shake my hand when they beat us, fairly, 3-1 at the KC Stadium.

The problem I’m having here, Philly, is that we have photographs proving that Wenger did, in fact, shake your hand after both of those matches. Is there an alternate definition of “shake” or “hand” that I’m missing?

Now, to the “spitting” incident, the meat of the matter at hand. Cesc has denied the allegations, categorically, and you have no witnesses as you admitted to Victoria Derbyshire in the interview above. I mean, I know that you tried to redirect that conversation with the whole “are you calling me a liar” tactic but everyone listening knows that just means you actually don’t have any evidence. Do you have any evidence that Cesc spat on anyone, near anyone, or toward anyone or do we all have to take your word for it?  Because, I’m just saying that your word isn’t too good right now.

As for Gallas’ “offside” goal, remember that Hull City might not have even been playing Arsenal had it not been for a controversial decision that went against Sheffield United back in February. I didn’t hear you complaining about the officiating when you got the benefit of what Sheffield supporters think was a poor decision to rule Naughton’s header an own goal. That’s how this stuff works, Phillie, sometimes a decision goes your way, sometimes it goes our way and when the final whistle goes we all have to be man enough to say “well, crap” and get on with our lives. Not go whingeing to the press about how poorly dressed Cesc was (which is true) or how he slathered Horton Hears a Who with a gallon of Catalan Saliva (not true).

And finally, no, you didn’t “get up our noses” — your team scored a lucky, deflected goal and then attempted to play anti-football for 77 minutes. Arsenal bettered your goal for the better part of those 77 minutes, resulting in some 70% of possession and the best chances of score by leaps and bounds. Arsenal deserved that win and everyone knows it.

I know you claim to have your coaching medals and if that’s true you would know that time wasting is a bookable offense because it’s cheating. Now, if you’re going to cheat and break the rules you have to be crafty about it. See, the problem is that your team doesn’t have the required craft of a team like Blackburn in order to pull off the whole anti-football thing and not pick up a host of bookings. So, Mike Riley was 100% correct to book 5 of your players, your team showed an indiscipline in it’s cheating that I haven’t seen since Arsenal last played Chelsea. Don’t blame Riley for the things he did right when there’s so much he did wrong in that game!

Anyway, Phil, I really hope you feel better today. You’re going to need all your strength to answer the charges that the FA are likely to bring against you for calling Mike Riley a cheat, for lying about Cesc spitting, and now it’s being reported that your assistant, Horton Hears a Who, called Cesc an “arrogant Spanish ____” and by ____ I don’t think he said “International.”

So, instead of getting Arsenal charged with stuff, it looks like you might get a charge or three yourself. That would add insult to injury wouldn’t it? My Darling?

Cheers,

Tim

18
Mar
09

Arsenal 2-1 Hull; there must have been a second spitter

Holy Christ what shit storm have I awoken to? Cesc is accused of spitting, Phil Brown is spitting dummies, Arsene is spitting mad and not shaking hands… have you people all lost your minds?

Because instead of focusing on a well deserved 2-1 win over a pack of notloB bred, time-wasting, lucky-goal having, lying, cheats we’re now dredging up video of Cesc supposedly spitting on Ballack back when Cesc was 12 years old, or spending time reading about how Brown claims Wenger “never does” shake hands even though there is photographic evidence to the contrary, and most incredibly, an accusation that will literally make your mind boggle, is Phil Brown calling it a disgrace for Wenger to complain about time wasting when his pack of talentless hacks had started wasting time from the moment they scored the goal!

To recap: Phil Brown is a proven liar, a moaner of such epic proportions that he puts Fergie and Wenger to shame, and Arsenal still won the match 2-1. End of story.

Man of the Match

Unlike other matches, this is a bit tougher. I really liked Song’s poise in the game and feel like he has made tremendous strides in the last two weeks. He has added forward passing (he picked out a beautiful pass to a streaking Gibbs that made me remark to the local Arsenal supporters) to a reprotiore of good tackles and tracking back. He also seems to have gained pace and defensive awareness. I don’t know who’s handling this kid but whoever it is is doing a heck of a job.

Another obvious choice is van Persie, he scored the equalizer and I really liked his perseverence in the face of all the missed chances. There was a period there where I swore that Arsenal was going to have another one of those games — 100 shots, 0 goals.

Gibbs too was outstanding and is turning into quite a likeable replacement for Clichy at left back. He put in several crucial tackles and showed the requisite ability to get forward. I also really like his crosses, they seem to come in at better pace and with more accuracy than Clichy at the moment.

Honorable mention goes to Bendtner who still can’t score but at least he really, really tries. His perseverence in front of goal is directly responsible for the equalizer.

As good as those guys played, I have to give the award to Andrei Arshavin. He started slow and at first I thought it was a mistake to include him in the lineup as he looked to be suffering from the cut on his foot but as the game wore on he took over. He was the most creative player on the pitch and more than once threatened to score — the best of which was a volley that only needed a whisker less curve to go in the net. But it was the equalizer which made him MotM for me. Instead of taking the shot, he made the right decision and put the ball on van Persie’s chocolate leg with just the right pace for him to pass the ball into the net. Then he calmly gathered the team from their celebrations and reminded them that the game wasn’t over yet and spurred them on to victory.

Selfless leadership. Fuck it’s been a long time since Arsenal had some of that.

Match Video

If you need to see the ball played off the Hull keeper, go to The Arsenalist, of course

Conclusion

Before the match I read a great interview with Phil Brown where he was humble and talked about how when he was earning his badges they did a review of him and the reviewer mentioned that Brown’s training was down the line exactly the same as Wenger’s at Arsenal. Then the reviewer asked how many shots Hull did during training and Brown said 250 or so and the reviewer said Arsenal does made 60-70 and scores twice as many. In the interview he was being humble and said that that’s how much class Arsenal have and what the difference between the two teams really was all about.

What a shame he couldn’t keep that same humility after the match. Any good will he earned from that interview he burned by falsely accusing Arsenal of all kinds of crap after.

During the match I had some English guy near me complain about how Gallas was offside and how the linesman had bungled the whole match. I disagreed and he wanted to press the point, so I just grabbed the Arsenal crest on my shirt and showed it to him. I don’t care if the world thinks Gallas was offside (he wasn’t) I don’t care if the world thinks what’s his cunt was onside (he wasn’t) I support Arsenal and after all the shiat we’ve been through in the last few years a little good luck was well deserved.

In conclusion, f*ck Hull and f*ck all the detractors, bring on Chelsea.

We’ll have Ade and Spitting Mad Fabregas back, probably Eduardo too, if the Hull match was a cracker, Chelsea will be a test of these boy’s manhood.

After this week?

I’m putting my money on Red.




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