Posts Tagged ‘Clichy


Gazidis Starts Shopping and I Make a Case for Appiah


The traditional Turbaconducken -- a bacon wrapped Turkey stuffed with bacon wrapped chicken and bacon wrapped duck.

Happy Thanksgiving, Americans! Hey, do you know what the Brits call Thanksgiving?*

Anyway, while Americans are gorging themselves on what should have been our national bird the rest of the world is hard at work, playing in the UEFA Cup, complaining about their teammates, angling for a move away from Arsenal, you know, a typical day at the office.

Plucked from his Thanksgiving table and flown across the Atlantic to enjoy Square Pie in dreary London, Arsene Wenger gave Ivan Gazidis his stamp of approval during a face-to-face meeting. Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait until January before Gazidis will be officially taking over many of the duties left undone by David Dein’s departure in 2007 and Edelman’s departure earlier this year. This January is such a crucial time for the club and everyone knows it. Quality reinforcements are needed and Gazidis will certainly need to hit the ground running as Wenger targets players and Gazidis is instructed to go get them. His experience handling all MLS player contracts will help in this regard.

In addition to his financial and business acumen, he sounds like the right personality for the job as well: born in South Africa, raised down the street from Highbury, and educated at Oxford Gazidis’ very first quotes speak volumes about how the man sees his place at this venerated old club:

The great thing about Arsenal is that it has been run to sustain itself. It is not dependent on an outside investor to pump money in year after year. That position is inherently a little bit unstable because it depends on one individual. Arsenal has positioned itself not to be dependent on one individual. It’s essential if Arsenal is going to be respected. This is not going to be an American coming with no understanding of Arsenal looking to make it in to a Disneyfied version of Arsenal.

Excellent start Ivan, now go sign us some talent!

Given the on-field struggles so far this season and the very acrimonious self-destruction of Gallas it’s only natural that there are already rumors flying about that Arsenal is looking to move some players. Newcastle is reportedly interested but not hopeful that they can sign Djourou and Song on loan. No, Joe, you f*cking c*nt arse cocksandwich prick, you can’t have Djourou, but maybe you could have Alex for a Song? Seriously, this is a plan with no drawbacks, Arsene and Ivan, let Song go. Then we can all stop pretending that he’s is anywhere near Arsenal quality.

There’s also a rumor that Bendtner might be going to Spartak Moscow for £5m. Seriously, this is a plan with no drawbacks, Arsene and Ivan, let Song Bendtner go. Then we can all stop pretending that he’s is anywhere near Arsenal quality.

While his play might not be Arsenal quality, Bendtner has reached a personal zenith at Arsenal saying

But I don’t think anyone at Arsenal is going to be able to compete with me on that front. I have reached the top of the outstanding boots. The only way they can beat me now is to play in diamond-encrusted boots. And I don’t think that’s going to happen for a few years.

+1 to Bendtner for having a sense of humor. Have fun in Siberia, I’m sure your pink boots will be extra outstanding in the snow.

And finally, William Gallas, the man whom Gael Clichy said “Shattered” the Arsenal team with his dumb comments, is being linked with a move to AC Milan. I suspect that a move of some sort is in the works with Gallas, he’s lost all credibility with his teammates and more importantly with Clichy. I don’t know how a central defender could stay with a club after losing the support of his partners at the back — trust there is absolutely vital and might be a clue as to why Arsenal have struggled in defense this season.

Gazidis and Arsene have their work cut out for them but I trust that they can take care of the on-field problems with just a few key signings.

Stephen Appiah

Why not? I’ve been beating this drum now since T-Town Alex convinced me to take another look at the player but I’ve been beating it from a talent perspective only. What about the financial implications? I know that Wenger supposedly has a sort of salary cap in place — that they basically have a pay scale at Arsenal with William Gallas at the top, Cesc not far behind and every other player on the team earning slightly less than the top two. Egalitarian, Wenger called it.

That said, it was this egalitarianism that prevented Arsenal from keeping Flamini. Flamini argued that since he was a free agent, and since he pays 43% in income tax to play in England, and since it would cost £10-20m to replace him, Arsenal should just pay him the transfer fee spread out over the remainder of his contract. At the time, I agreed with Flamini. It just makes sense. Damn the salary cap Wenger, say that you’re paying him a transfer bonus or whatever but keep this guy at the club.

And now, the rumor is that Stephen Appiah is making similar demands; asking for an outrageous salary due to the fact that he’s a free agent, he’s good, and whatever club signs him won’t have to pay a transfer fee. It’s a logical argument, really. Why shouldn’t Appiah make £4m+ per year? At 27 he’s pretty much at the top of his game and while there might be some fitness questions you have to think that a club could recoup whatever salary Appiah asked for in the transfer market. Think about it: you pick up Appiah, pay his outrageous salary and play him. If he’s good enough, you keep him on, if not you sell him. You sell him! You make money off his transfer. Even if it’s a £2m transfer, you still made £2m in profit. Subtract that from his retarded salary and it seems like a good deal to me.

Of course, all this hinges on Appiah playing well and not asking for a truly outrageous salary. If he played really poorly you might be saddled with a huge salary and an under-performing player and no one who wants him. And if he asked for some kind of truly insane salary (like £8m a year) you’ll never be able to unload him, because there’s only a few clubs in the world who can pay that.

So, that’s my case. There are a lot of known unknowns but I think Appiah could turn out to be a good on-field deal and a good bit of business to boot.

Arsenal had to have thought of this, right?

Ok, I’m going to have some breakfast, lay about, then pip into Doyle’s to watch a predictable and injured Tottenham lose to some other team in a competition I couldn’t care less about. It’s my birthright as an American.



Like rams to the slaughter?

It may seem like a life time ago, but there was a day back in September that Arsenal beat Derby 5-0. Diaby opened the scoring on 10 minutes and from there on in the result was inevitable. Well, three points was inevitable, who would have pegged Ade to score a hat trick? Pretty much no one since, at that point Ade was still considered “horrible” by most Arsenal fans.

Back in September… the season was wide open, Arsenal were on a winning streak, and hopes of glory were still in front of us. 7 months later and now we’ve come full circle: hopes for this season have been dashed (though mathematically Arsenal COULD still win the league title since there are 9 points up for grabs and Arsenal are only 7 points off the leaders), and hopes for next season are in front of us; Arsene is promising to blood some young players, and the old players have all been granted awards.

It should be a fun match to watch. I suspect Arsenal will play the way they always play; open, attacking football (Wenger’s teams never change style regardless of the personnel). And rumor has it they will showcase some young talent, which I always enjoy watching because those young players will be trying to convince Le Boss to give them a few starts next season. On the other end of the pitch, I expect Derby will put in a good performance, hoping to give their long suffering (but no less faithful) supporters something to talk about next season. So, a lively match is on tap. Kickoff is noon local (Pacific Standard) time and the match is a Setanta exclusive here in the states. Which to my loyal readers means that the game is being shown at my favorite Tacoma Football pub — Doyles.

In really great and cool and fun news Cesc has earned himself the PFA “Young Player of the Year Award.” Kudos to the young man, who doesn’t turn 21 until May 4th. Really? He’s only 20?

Along with Fabregas, the PFA named Adebayor, Clichy, and Sagna to their Premier League Team of the Year. So, wait, does that mean I got 4 out of 5 right? I guess it does. And why is it that a man who is described by some “supporters” as having the “touch of a rapist” pegged for Team of the Year along side the likes of Fernando Torres? I can’t quite figure it out myself. In that article, even Ronaldo (who won Player of the Year) revealed that he voted Adebayor for Player of the Year. That must be one of those “lost in translation” things because Adebayor couldn’t be, you know, actually a good player… could he?

There’s some rumor floating around about the Flim-Flam-man signing with Milan because they want him to replace Gattuso. Yep. I’ll believe it when I see it revealed on The Dot Com.


And finally, my favorite pack of utter douchebags (Bolton) has revealed that they enjoy being douchebags. In fact, they say that their only regret is that they felt they could have been bigger pricks and are right now desperately seeking a way to play an entire season without scoring or conceding a goal, pick up 11 yellow cards a match, not have anyone sent off, and permanently injure one opponent per match.  Lofty goals.  It must be gripping stuff for their supporters to watch a bunch of no talent clod hoppers hoof the ball forward to despicable cheats like El-Haji-Diouf and utter cunts like Kevin Davies. GRIPPING.

Sorry for all the language there, I’m suffering from a form of Tourette’s syndrome; whenever I think of Bolton I have to curse. Also, read the linked article at your own risk, spontaneous projectile vomiting is a known side effect of statements like “We (Bolton) were a top eight side and no one can ever take that away from us.”

If there’s a god, that team will be relegated… along with Birmingham.



The Team of Misfit Boys

The transfer window is closed and my dream deal with Chelsea fell through: they were so close though! Oh well. Portsmouth did land a “big” name; Jermaine Defoe. What the hell are they doing down there on the south coast? That has to be the biggest pack of emo whiners ever assembled: Sol Campbell, Diarra, and now Defoe. They’re probably still having a good cry over Ronaldo’s bestfreekickevertakeninthehistoryoffreekicks.

Speaking of Ronaldo, The Daily Mail has uncovered the scoop of the season; Adebayor and Ronaldo are the leading candidates for the golden boot. I would never have known if it hadn’t been for the hard hitting journalism at TDM. Just listen to this journalist as he paints a stunning picture.

It is a race that adds extra chilli to a spicy title tussle, particularly as it involves the totems for the leading sides, Manchester United and Arsenal

Mmmmm, chili. You know what chili always makes me think of? Ring of fire. Which I think is an apt description for this article.

Look, I love Adebayor but he’s no Christiano Ronaldo. First off he’s not a cunt. Second, he’s not a conceited prick. Third, he’s had the same haircut all season and would never do this:

In conclusion, please don’t compare Adebayor to Ronaldo.  kthanksbye.

In team news Clichy has decided to end his England eligibility and play for France.  Good for him, he deserves it he’s a tremendous talent who is just blossoming before our eyes.  Also, he’s appreciative of the people who have helped him get to where he is.  People like Arsene Wenger.

It is thanks to Arsene Wenger, who has always believed in me. I owe him a lot and I hope to take the confidence I have built up into the France team

I like Clichy more and more every day.

That’s it for now, I’ll have a team preview tomorrow.  Cya then!

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May 2020