Posts Tagged ‘Andrei Arshavin

30
Jun
09

The Last Day

A metaphysical dichotomy has forced this unit to overload and shut down ...

It’s an inauspicious sending off of the old blog, I must say.

Andrei Arshavin is all over the press because something he said 6 months ago was reprinted in the World’s Least Reliable News Source. Felipe Melo (L’Equipe) has reportedly renewed his contract with Fiorentina until 2013, all but ruling the player out for an Arsenal transfer. And, as you no doubt know by now, Amaury Bischoff has been released by the club.

As if I wasn’t nervous enough already!

In hindsight, I should have just gotten the damn thing up when I first bought the domain. It really wasn’t that much work and having your own domain, not a page hosted by WordPress.com, gives you so much more flexibility that it would have been worth it. For example, now I can install Google analytics and have detailed reports of where my hits come from, how long they stay on site, what pages they read, etc.

Not to mention advertisements, hey, I want to get a little back for all the work I’ve put in!

I get up every day at 4:30am and continue my research from the night before. If it’s a complicated article, like say one on the 39th game, I have a lot of research to do and sometimes I have to split it over three days. For the RSS feed + jokes articles I just need to make sure my facts are all straight — and even then some things get past me.

Then I write. Depending on the size of the article, depending on the wakedness of my daughter, and depending on the deepness of my hangover/distractions that takes usually an hour, maybe more.

The rest of the day I check the wires, put aside reprts that are important and dream of Arsenal signing some commanding central midfielder who will give big lumps to all the c*nts ooop norf — and the Chelsea c*nts too.

2-3 hours every day… every single day for nearly two years has resulted in 605 posts, 273,000 views, and 4,300 comments. When I started doing this I was getting just 20 views a day and I nearly quit — it was frustrating to have one guy (Matt!) read the blog and tell me how well I wrote and yet see that no one else was reading. Then I got picked up by Gooner News and everything took off. Now, I’m pretty sure I have a following, several folks who come by nearly every day and say something. Sometimes they like what I wrote, sometimes not, but they are always here and that I really appreciate.

Along the way I’ve been called a cocksandwich, learned what a middle fielder is, and banned a few pricks but it’s been a lot of fun. A lot of fun.

It’s just, I want more. I want more people to see the site, more folks to argue over what I said or what they said, more people to know what a cocksandwich I am, more folks from all over the world building this community of people who get up at odd hours to watch a team we all love: Arsenal.

So, I’m moving and it’s going to be good. First, I’ve spoken with Arseblogger and he’s agreed to a link exchange which is, well, it’s fuckin’ excellent. Second, I’m going to keep knocking on the door of NewsNow until I get in, the new site will let me make my pages more friendly for their reader and I’m hoping that will help. Third, we’ll be doing some targeted advertisements and promotions (by the way, today is your last chance to win a free shirt!), things that will get people here. Fourth, we’re going to experiment with some technologies that will help build the community around the blog. And lastly, and most importantly, Arsene is going to sign Lorik Cana and I will have 1.21 million hits on that day and can retire.

So, I’m inviting all of you to join me over at 7amkickoff.com tomorrow morning for our very first blog on my very own domain. Until then, if you’d like to share your favorite moment or your favorite article of the last two years, please do, I promise not to cry and take videos of it and put them on YouTube.

Promise.

Victoria Concordia Crescit.

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28
Mar
09

Rosicky reveals his injury and I watch Arshavin NOT get injured (knock on wood)

I did WHAT???
For my one non-American reader, this is a reminder to set your clocks to America time* tonight. For my American readers, this means that 3pm kickoffs in London now revert back to 7am kickoffs here in America. YAY.

For the rest of you, there is an Arsenal story today. It’s about Thomas Rosicky and his horrible injury. I guess he’s completely healed from the surgery to repair the damage from tearing some ligament completely off his knee. I’ve predicted many times that he will never play for Arsenal again and I would gladly be wrong.

He doesn’t just score goals, he scores amazing goals and Arsenal have missed that creativity at times this season. Here’s a video of what Arsenal have been missing with Thomas out:

But more than just great goals, I especially like that he’s talking about his passion for the game and how he’s burning to play again. Again, that’s a quality that the Arsenal have been lacking at times this season (Adebayor, we’re all looking at you) so getting him back full of piss and vinegar would be incredible important. Just having him push the kids in training would be important enough, but if he cracks back into the starting lineup and shows that passion on the pitch, that would be amazing.

Anyway, Gods speed goal-scoring-elf we need our #7 back.

Right, that’s it, I’m off to watch Arshavin destroy some little country and pray that he doesn’t get hurt.

*This is a joke, please don’t get your knickers in a twist over this and start talking about what a wanker I am for being an American. I’d be a wanker if I had been born in England too.

26
Jan
09

Liveblogging the Andrei Arshavin deal deadline

Today is Arsenal’s self imposed deadline for something to happen in the Andrei Arshavin transfer deal. Follow along with me as I obsessively hit “refresh” in my Google Reader, hoping for a nibble of fact in this deal.

6:10 am — ZOMG HAVE YOU HEARD??? Charlie N’Zogbia, who has been angling for a transfer to Arsenal for the last 4 years, has told the world that he would rather play for Aston Villa, because they are going to win the Champions League or something. This is proof for the doom and gloomers that Arsenal are going to miss out on recruiting “top players” and start the downward spiral toward empty stadiums and relegation. No news on Arshavin.

6:12 am — No news on Arshavin.

6:15 am — SPUDS SIGN CUDICHINI!!! Another top player that Arsenal have missed out on. No news on Arshavin.

6:18 am — I should give this mess an intro… done. No Arshavin news.

6:21 am — I have to get ready for work. The FA 5th round draw has been made and if we can get past Cardiff we’ll either face Jay Simpson with WBA or Carling Cup nemesis Burnley. Funny how that works, eh?

6:24 am — nietski newski Arshavin

6:26 am — Philippe Senderos played a whole 90 minutes for AC Milan: I heard his performance was a bunch of Bologna. Uhhh, all the other kids on loan played too, no one scored or did anything spectacular.

6:35 am — @leon, yes, the deadline is Monday, today is Monday! Did you guys hear that Arsenal supporters had a stand off with Cardiff supporters after the FA Cup match? What decade is this?

6:38 am — OMG ARSHAVIN NEWS… Zenit have abandonded their £20m overvaluation of Arshavin and the teams are “locked in talks.” Maybe Wenger heard all of your frustrations about how spending the extra few Million won’t break the bank?

6:43 am — Dan in the comments mentions that the deal is being reported “good as done” in the Russian press. Too bad I don’t speak Russian. :(

6:45 am — I scooped L’Equipe! No Arshavin News, in English.  Also, I went to that Russian newspaper link that Dan supplied and then on to another link and got this (edited for content):

nooooooooooo

THANKS FOR NOTHING DAN.

6:51 am — got to go to work, will check my Google Reader when I get there. How many of you use Google Reader? No Arshavin News.

7:45 am — dang, it’s freezing out here, took me 10 minutes just to warm the car up for my 10 minute drive to work! No Arshavin news, but the comedy of Spurs just keeps delivering; looks like they have signed Chimbonda back from Sunderland. This confirms, what? That Spuds are bat-shit crazy? Who’s next on Spurs “Oh crap we screwed up” transfer list? Gazza?

8:06 am — HA! Not Gazza, Keane! I don’t know, I couldn’t make up something that funny. I just hope Liverpool charge Spuds like £25m for him. Since Arsenal are not doing anything, I have to wonder, does it get any better than watching our North London “rivals” try to assemble the “dream team” that got them to the lofty heights of 5th place 2 years ago and 11th place last year? I say no, it doesn’t.

8:17 am — @Patrick, the odds are 100% that Arsenal supporters will find something to whine about regardless of what happens with this deal. Wenger could buy the entire Man U squad and supporters would complain about something: “Ronaldo doesn’t look like he’s giving 100%! Sell him to Real!”

9:02 am — “first again” goonerforum is recylcing reports that I have seen other places that has Usmanov buying Arshavin. This is not news, this is speculation, news happens when the club report Arshavin has signed.  Also, goonerforum should get their own look — The funny thing about them is that I think they wanted to do a link exchange but I found their content to be, well, stupid.

10:48 am — ArSHAVIN NEWS! Dangit, no it’s not… ESPNSoccernet is reporting the quotes that were attributed to Andrei earlier in the week in a cheap stunt to try to generate hits, just like I’ve been doing! HA HA I scooped ESPN!

10:54 am — Setanta has reported that they will be showing the Arsenal – Cardiff replay on Tuesday the 3rd of Feb.

10:58 am — Micah Richards is denying that he’s coming to Arsenal. There was a ton of speculation that the England CB was the target of Arsene during the summer when he made his famous remarks about “getting someone from the EPL” which turned out to be a failed bid for Alonso. I’m not sure how I feel about Richards, on the one hand I’ve always though he sucked. On the other hand, he’s sucked even more this year than any other. Now would be the perfect time to land him, because I doubt he could possibly suck any more than he does now!

3:37 pm — HOLY CRAP!!!! I’ve been gone all day “working” and suddenly check my gReader an WHAM Shitanta is reporting that Arsenal and Zenit have agreed to terms and all that is left is for Arshavin and Arsenal to agree to terms… {record scratch} what? That’s not right. That’s not what anyone has been saying all along, Arshavin has been saying all along that he’s already agreed to terms and that the clubs need to agree. What kind of football jokers are these Zenit people?

GOD DAMNIT this is going to last longer than a bad case of crabs, innit?

My inside source tells me that Arsneal threw in two black players as a makeweight and that Zenit was so horrified by this prospect that they cut the deal down to £8m. Or maybe I made that last bit up.

Anyway “full” analysis of this massively important and ground breaking development in the morning, I got more stuff to do.

06
Oct
08

I cut myself Arshavin

My neck hurts, my ego hurts, and I just don’t think I can do it any more. I think I have to quit playing competitive football. I don’t mean stop having kick arounds or 5-a-sides, I mean sprinting 100 yards, turning around sprinting another 100 yards only to be beaten by a woman 10 years your younger in front of friends and family. In fact, the only reason to finish out this season would be to exact some type of revenge against the cock sandwiches (the bad kind) who beat us mercilessly yesterday, and if I did that I might “accidentally” hurt someone. No, it’s best if I just hang up my boots and just kick around with the old people on Sundays.

Maybe I can get a job as a local football announcer now that I’ve “retired?” Either that or car salesman.

What a drag it is getting old.

Ugh

Let’s see, what news is there for me to crack jokes about…

The Thomas Rosicky Return Clock seems to be counting in the wrong direction. Now the club is hopeful he’ll return in January and if he suffers any further setbacks? The rumor is that they will rest him for the remainder of the year.

There’s the eye-rolling-story-of-the-year, that somehow Patrick Vieira would return to the EPL and play for Roy Keane at Sunderland. The only way those two are getting within 10 yards of each other is in one of those Celebrity Boxing matches — which I’d pay to see!

One of the funniest things I’ve ever heard: Joe Kinnear’s x-rated rant (Not Safe For Work) as read by some speech reading software. You know, I have access to this kind of software, I wonder what the blog would sound like as read by one of those? Hmmm… I’d need some more colorful language.

Adebayor is tired of waiting for airplanes. No, wait, he’s retiring from international football to concentrate on Arsenal, that’s the ticket. This stunning development means that Arsene will now have three people to work with for the next two weeks: Ade, Denilson, and Almunia.

Finally… The Andrei Arshavin saga continues to play out with the player now completely rejecting a move to Hotspuds. The rumor being spread by his agent is that a “top four” club are going to buy him for $40m. Well, let’s parse this out, shall we? First, his racist ass club are refusing to let him go for less than $40m and they have oil money to back them up so they aren’t going to cave on this demand. I’d argue that that price tag completely rules him out of a transfer to Arsenal, except that Arsene is acting kind of erratically right now. Who knows, maybe Arsenal is interested. Second, Man U is not interested, where would they play him? Third, Liverpool are broke, even if they wanted him they couldn’t raise the money. Fourth, Chelsea seem the likeliest candidates as they have a lunatic Russian in charge who has a proven prediliction for paying over the odds for overrated players. They also have a great love for stocking their bench with all stars, which was basically the Mourinho method of winning 17 League Cups and Charity Shields or whatever it was that Chelsea won: that all star isn’t working, OK, let’s throw on some other all star! It was sheer genius.  I say it’s Chelsea, because only they have the salary to throw around (in the form of debt!) and the $40m (in the form of debt!) to pay his racist ass club, and the desire to stock their bench with the world’s most overrated players.

Anyway, I hope lots of people click on the blog today because I used the word Arshavin, it’s my number one search term, you know.

Until tomorrow, you cock sandwiches (the good kind!)




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