Posts Tagged ‘Amaury Bischoff


Huge summer signing

I was wrong: Arsenal have broken the bank and signed Amaury Bischoff from Werder Bremen.  Despite what others might tell you, this guy is an unknown quality having only made 1 (one, uno, ichi) senior club appearance in his entire life.

He comes to Arsenal pre-injured, inexperienced, untrained, and completely unknown, but at least it was a free transfer.  You’ll also be surprised to find out that there are no videos of this kid, mostly because HE HASN’T PLAYED ANYWHERE.

Of course, last year Wenger signed Bacary Sagna and he turned out to be a revelation, so who knows maybe this kid will be another Sagna.  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.


Amaury Bischoff; relative unknown?

I was wrong about Bischoff being an unknown.

Looks like the guys over at Young Guns have done a great deal of research on the potential Arsenal signing.  Kudos to them for an excellent article and for diligently finding out as much about the player as possible.

I don’t subscribe to many other blogs but I have added them to my feed, you should check them out.


He’s baaaaaack!

I love it.

The Adebayor story is back on the front page of every paper and we now have more “facts” at our disposal.

Fact 1: according to AC Milan vice president Adriano Galliani, Arsenal are telling rival clubs that Adebayor is only for sale at the staggering price of €45 million (£35.6 million).  Galliani then whines about how Milan cannot afford those prices.  Boo hoo.  He then says “while I once said that I ‘only have eyes for Adebayor’ I am now kind of staring at Ronaldinho.  It’s hard not to stare because he’s so fat.  What happened to him over the last few months?  Did he discover the chip butty? Anyway, that’s all us poor Italians can afford, fat, washed up, broken players, I really wish FIFA and UEFA would do something about this problem.”

Fact 2: Arsenal have offered Adebayor a new contract worth a reported £45,000/wk.  He isn’t signing it right now, preferring to wait and see what happens with the whole transfer/wage increase saga.

Fact 3: Arsenal rejected a £25m offer from Barcelona.  Barcelona are now preparing a £30m-ish bid for the Arsenal striker, supposedly.

Fact 4: I had it wrong, Vincenzo Morabito Super Agent is NOT Adebayor’s agent, Ade’s agent is Stephane Courbis and he is seriously nuts:

It is vital that Arsenal show their motivation (£££) to keep him.  There has been a love story between Adebayor and Arsenal and his relationship with Arsène Wenger is based on trust and respect. Emmanuel is a man of heart, not of money. (???) He is not greedy. He is a kid from the street, has sensibilities and is humble. (???) If this was a money problem, then he would have asked to leave (which he did), I know that Arsenal’s political position is that they don’t pay high salaries. Whatever they decide, the decision will be taken with respect. (???)

That’s simple then, since it’s not about the money, since Adebayor is in love with Arsenal, and since Adebayor is humble, he’ll just go ahead and sign Arsenal’s £45,000/wk offer that’s on the table.  But if he doesn’t I’m sure his humility, love, and respect for Arsenal will force him to just go ahead and play out the rest of his contract without any complaints about salary or transfers to other “dream” clubs like Barcelona.

Fact 5: Like I said, Barca are reportedly putting together a £30m-ish offer for Adebayor which means that both Arsenal and other teams (like Barcelona) rate the player very highly.  I don’t know how the Hater-Ade’s (get it? HAR!) feel about the fact that professional football managers at the very highest level (like Arsenal and Barcelona) rate Adebayor so highly.  Likely they either ignore it or think “Barcelona is crazy!”

Those are the facts as we know them right now: 7am PDT, July 2nd 2008.  Those facts may change without notice in which case I will write about them.

If Arsenal receive 1 pence over £30m, I say they should do the deal.  At that price Arsenal could buy 4-5 people you’ve never heard of, raise their price, and sell them on for a huge profit.

Speaking of dudes you’ve never heard of: Amaury Bischoff has been released by Werder Bremen and this supposedly means that he’ll be coming to Arsenal.  What do we know about Amaury?  He’s “highly rated,” he’s Portuguese, he played for the Portuguese U21 team, he’s been injured for most of his career at Bremen, and he claims he’s coming to Arsenal to play in the reserves.

In squad news, Eduardo’s early comeback is garnering some press with pretty much everyone saying that he will be able to participate in training camp and may even be ready for the start of the season.  I sincerely hope the young man recovers fully from Martin Taylor’s vicious attack.

Clichy week is in full swing and Arsenal have released a statistical look back at the Left Back’s amazing season.  You all know how much I love statistics, so check it out.

Also on the Dot Com is a podcast of the Gunner’s Greatest Players no. 50 through 21.  I like listening to the Arsenal old timers talk about their fellow professionals even if the official Arsenal podcasts are often of shockingly poor quality.  Hey!  They should call me, I’d love to produce those segments.  I couldn’t possibly do any worse.

Maybe I should call SATAN Kroenke, my fellow American, and ask for a spot on the Dot Com.  He’ll have more pull with the club as soon as he’s on the board.  Oh yeah, Stan’s not looking to takeover Arsenal, so go ahead and relax English fans.  My favorite part of that article is the 720 degree turn around that Peter Hill-Wood has taken on Kroenke.  He’s gone from “we don’t need his sort” to:

He is quiet, not ostentatious He could be a very good ally and colleague. There is some logic in him getting close to us. He is a sensible man who is a sportsperson and has got some expertise in his business and that has helped him to develop a fanbase there [in Colorado]

And finally, Joey Barton is reportedly being courted by Bolton.  I was thinking about Joey Barton and his many, many, many transgressions and I wondered “how long would Arsenal keep a man like that on their payroll?  Hell, how long would any of the top 4 clubs keep him on their payroll?”  Then I realized, that’s what separates top clubs from bottom feeders like Bolton: common sense.

I’ll leave it on that note, see you all tomorrow.


“Finally, football has the success he deserves.”

Fabregas Spain Euro

Congratulations to Spain and Cesc Fabregas for proving to the world that beautiful football can win trophies.  I only caught the first few minutes (enough to see Torres’ goal) and so I can’t comment on the match but I will say that I hope this trophy heralds a new age of football.  One in which passing, movement, fitness, and technique are more important than lumping and crunching and defending.  I honestly thought Germany would beat the Spaniards, they seemed to have it all; giantness, organizational..ness, and divingness.  But all credit to Spain who just simply outplayed them.

Afterwords, Cesc hailed the win as a victory for football and the sweetest of his career.

It was a long time since we have seen a team of that quality trying to play beautiful football – I dont think we’ve seen many teams have success (playing that way).  This the best day of my life as a football player.

On the other side of the field Old Sour Grapes had a go at the Ref, Torres, George W. Bush, and the boot boy.  You leave the boot boy alone you big German meanie!

In transfer news, Arsenal have been targeted by some dude named Amaury Bischoff: he claims that a deal is imminent and that he’s in London getting a physical.  This guy is a complete unknown because he basically played in the Werder Bremen reserves (when he wasn’t in the sick room) last season.  He’s also young and a central midfielder: which makes him the perfect Wenger signing.  Wenger will probably transform him into a keeper and sell him on for £100m in 2 years.

Seriously, though, if you want to know anything about the kid, you’ll have to rely on reports from die hard supporters like the blogger at Young Guns who interviews another blogger from Germany who has seen Amaury actually play… a little.

Tired of the Adebayor story yet?  Well, I AM NOT.  I WANT 24/7 ADEBAYOR COVERAGE.  What did he eat?  What’s the composition of his stool?  Will he go to Chelsea? How’s his mom handling all the pressure?  Will Obafemi Martins tell Newcastle that he wants a transfer, thus triggering a £13m buy out clause which would free him up to fulfill Wenger’s reported dreams of bringing the world’s shortest striker to Arsenal?


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