We’re entering another dimension…

There’s nothing going on today.

The 3rd place match for the most important trophy in the history of world sport won’t kick off until 5:30am PST tomorrow and the finals won’t be until 11am PST so I’m stuck here trolling the internet for rumor, innuendo, hell, even something made up would be nice. Unfortunately, it’s dead out there. Well, there’s a one paragraph interview with Arsene Wenger on L’Equipe (in French) in which he gives a world exclusive insight into the “Arsenal way.” Uhhh, basically, he says that he didn’t go to Real Madrid because Arsenal are entering another dimension, where time stands still, door open, and Arsenal win a Champions League trophy with a bunch of teenagers.

It’s really fantastic.

Meanwhile, anyone who has been linked to Arsenal pretty much ever is now saying that they won’t be coming in. Yaya signed a 1 year extension with Barca which should stave off the Yaya to Arsenal speculation at least until January. I updated the Players who didn’t sign for Arsenal page, don’t make me edit it again!

Felipe Melo is the other oft speculated about player and his agent is saying that he’s happy at Fiorentino, which is good because I don’t want the bugger. Well, I’ll take anyone that Arsene signs, but I haven’t seen anything special from him… yet.  I’ll be watching him play against the USA tomorrow (if he gets a start, his teammates were pissed at him the other day) and I’ll write about the final match on Monday. Meanwhile, tomorrow’s blog will be a recap of the 3rd place match — if Cesc plays.

Like I said, there’s not much going on today, so in the time honored tradition of all “reporters” I’m going to make shiat up!

Taking a page from Wenger’s entering another dimension, today’s made up story is part fantasy, part reality, and it’s called “Who should Arsene Wenger buy from the U21 tournament?”

Basically, we all know that Wenger isn’t going to buy experience. We also know that he’s looking for a bargain. So, who better to pick up than some kids who shine at the U21s?

You’re traveling through another dimension — a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the u21  Zone!

Tim Sparv: Solid defensive midfielder who has shown leadership qualities as the Finnish U21 captain. He’s also almost 2 meters tall and showed great promise in the air when he scored a header for Finland against England in their 2-1 loss. Tim Sparv is also reportedly a “good boy” which Wenger prizes highly, and he speaks impeccable English having been a roommate with Theo Walcott at Sothhampton.  Throw in the fact that he’s out of contract with his club Halmstad and he could be lured to Arsenal for dirt cheap.  Chance of this happening? 11/10, a no name youthful player, who hasn’t been linked to Arsenal in the press? This is a done deal!

Marco Andreolli: What? You mean you’ve never head of him either? He’s a tallish, solid Italian defender who has good heading instincts. He’s formed a relatively effective partnership in defense for Italy and caught the eye of many scouts. He’s currently on loan to Roma and isn’t getting much playing time behind their starting lineup. Chance of this happening? 3/10, he’s got many of the qualities that Arsene looks for but he’s Italian and I don’t remember the last time an Italian came to Arsenal.

Fabrice Muamba: Muamba’s the kind of player that one day has a great game and the next he struggles. Over the last few matches for England, however, he’s been massively impressive earning man of the match plaudits from his coach (he didn’t win them from the awarders though!). Though he may lack the passing range that Arsene is looking for there is no doubt that his tackling and heading would add a ton of steel to our young team. Chance of this happening? 5/10. Wenger has maintained for like 100 years that he’s never going to re-buy a player he let go, which would normally mean this is a 1/10, but Wenger has the capacity to surprise some times and I could honestly see him bringing Muamba in.

So, there you go, I made some stuff up. What do you all think? Who has impressed you this summer? Make some stuff up youself below — it’s fun!

9 Responses to “We’re entering another dimension…”

  1. 1 arthur3sheds
    June 27, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Nice peice Timmy, witty as ever. I have only seen highlights of the U21s haven’t seen the Confed either. I cannot comment on the two players above.

    Muamba is a decent player I think he is probably better suited to the defensive duties than the personnel we have at the moment. Only Song is comparable in that department buthis acceleration/response seems to be behind Muamba. However I doubt if Arsene will surprise you this time Tim. I think Muamba will get better and better but at present he doesn’t display the technical ability that is prequiste of a typical Wenger signing.

    As for Melo, I have not seen him in the Confed’ but seen some footage of him throughout an entire game against Juve, he looked impressive defensively and his range of passing was also outstanding. I haven’t seen enough to rate his consistency and have no idea how he will cope with the style of the premiership, however I think he will be a good addition tour squad.

    There has been some talk about a guy called Cana whom the Spuds are rumoured to be interested in, I don’t know anything about him apart from he is supposed to be tasty. Not even certain Arsenal are at all interested in him. Anyone got an opinion?

    Chamankh a striker is according to one publicity seeking blog is “definately” coming to
    Arsenal which will mean the ultimate departure of Ade. I would hate to see Ade go he has a lot more to give Arsenal, he is a good player. All the talk of him being lazy last season is rubbish as far as I am concerned. Ade doesn’t seem to work well in the lone striker role but is far from lazy. Ade underperforms when the whole team underperforms, but as he has never been truly loved by Arsenal fans he is an easy scapegoat as is Eboue.

  2. 2 nick
    June 27, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    muamba used to play for arsenal until steve bruce took him to birmingham along with sebastian larsson. dont think weng would buy him back at a loss, it´s not his style.

    on another note…will anyone miss adebayor if he leaves?

  3. 3 TheSKAGooner
    June 27, 2009 at 12:11 pm


    I’m well crocked that you did not give full coverage to what can only be termed “MASSIVE NEWS!! Watch This Space!!” worthy…

    Of course, I am referring to one Andrey Arshavin firing his toad poop of a manager, Dennis Lachter. There’s such a gold mine of material on this one. Now, sure, you’d have to go back to last summer, research the pirouette and mosh-pit dance he did with the Spuds in order to set the stage for our junior high school “I like you/Do you like me?” dosey-do with Lachter from November until the day after the transfer window closed in February. Thank God for snow, huh? Anyway…so…yeah, you’d have to slog through, do the research and probably down copious amounts of absynthe and or Drano in order to make something coherent out of it all…but believe me, it would be worth it!

    Also, may I please present the fact that Dennis Lachter and the actor Robert Carlyle are really the same person. And, if you’ve ever watched the old Brit TV show “Cracker”, with Robbie Coltrane as the lead (smashing good show, BTW), then you will have a memory that Carlyle is a ‘pool fan anyway. Which explains A LOT…

    Lachter: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/06/26/article-0-057DA859000005DC-684_306x292.jpg
    Carlysle: http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/renard_by_robert_carlyle.jpg

    Ever seen them together – in the same room – at the same time? I rest my case.

  4. 4 viva los gooners
    June 27, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    From the U21’s – check Marcus Berg – Sweden – 7 goals, Tim Sparv looked good too.

    I’d settle for Cana, we don’t have an Albanian.

    Good luck against Brazil !!!


  5. 5 Matt
    June 27, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    Soccernet has Michael Bradley going to Arsenal.

  6. 6 MainSq
    June 27, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    Marcus Berg wud do jst fine 4 me. Adebayor shud pack his bags- I rily despice if not hate every aspect of his game.

  7. 7 Alan
    June 28, 2009 at 12:57 am

    We were actually linked to Markus Berg for a while. Then he got too good.

  8. 8 Bongo
    June 28, 2009 at 7:35 am

    Hi Tim, not sure if you will be reading over this comment but I thought I send you a link to a great Robin Van Persie article. Ignore the title it has very little bearing on an otherwise great article. It has picture of his wife (Hot!) and son. He talks in detail about his ambition and past, about his reputation for being a bad boy and the false rape allegations.


    • 9 CaribKid
      June 28, 2009 at 8:38 am

      I read it yesterday Bongo,

      Great article and was surprised that Obama is his recent role model.

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