Archive for June 3rd, 2009


Lies, damn lies, and transfer rumors

Tony Adams seems to have lost his mind.

First, he tells the world that, basically, he’s going to be the next coach for Celtic. As my regular reader knows, I trumpeted this move as a real chance for the beleaguered former Arsenal great to get a shot at real management but given some further revelations I’m not sure how fit he is any more. First off, Celtic came out and called the idea “complete garbage.” And then, the guy who is supposed to be Adams’ link in to Celtic, the former Celtic manager Wim Jansen, basically said that he hasn’t spoken to Tony, has no desire to return to Celtic, and isn’t appointing Adams manager of anything.

But wait, there’s more…

That was yesterday’s Adams news, today has Tony spouting conspiracy theories about Wenger and the Arsenal board and going on to mumble incoherently about how little money Arsenal have to spend. The whole quote looks like this

People on the board – and the fans – want more, but they can’t actually back it up with financial weight to do it. They’re not financing him. I don’t think Arsenal have got any finance.I don’t know who it is, but I think there’s someone on the board who’s not pro-Arsene. I don’t know who it is, but that’s what I’ve heard.

The fans have got very high standards now. I remember when I first broke into the team, losing 4-0 at Maine Road and the fans were doing the conga. They didn’t expect much. But they expect a lot now. They’re crying out for experience and the fans are not silly, they know the team needs experience at the back and in central midfield. Arsene knows, too. He’s not a silly man. But you tell me a player they can get for the money they’ve got. It’s unrealistic.

The first bit there about the board member who is anti-Arsene is straight up tin-foil hat stuff. “I don’t know who it is, but I’ve heard someone hates you!” Wait, it’s not even tin-foil hat, that’s straight Junior High shit.

But what makes this a compelling quote is the second bit, where he rejoins reality and adulthood and talks about what we all know: Arsenal need some fresh blood in midfield and defense.

And no sooner than you could snap your fingers and say “haggis” he’s back into conspiracy territory talking about how the board doesn’t have any money and then about how there are no players for Arsenal to sign anyway. As far as I’m concerned, Tony Adams is dead wrong. It’s funny because he  sounds like one of the doom and gloomers we get on the comment board here.

Frankly, I’m dead tired of saying this, but Arsenal certainly have the money to spend if they (the board and the manager) want to spend it. I’ll put a page up at the top of the screen (similar to my page about players who didn’t come to Arsenal) later this afternoon, and you all can refer to that from now on. Until then, you just have to look at my remarks linked above.

So, Mr. “Arsenal have the money” who are they going to buy?

I know one thing, whomever Wenger buys he’s going to have an eye for a deal — which has nothing to do with the board and everything to do with the boss’ philosophy.

Here are today’s hot deals:

Joleon Lescott is being pimped at 7% off. Wanting to cement a place in the England national team, he’s supposedly engineering a move away from Everton and Arsenal are one of many teams mooted. Chances of this happening, 3/10 — if Arsenal are competing with City for his signature, they will need to recruit Lescott with other English National team players, like Theo Walcott.

Blaise Matuidi is offered at buy one get one free. Tired of fighting to remain at the foot of the French league, Blaise is supposedly courting interest from Pompey, Tottenham, and Arsenal. Chance of this deal happening, 6/10 — everyone knows that Arsene loves plucking French players from the continent for cheap, plus, Tottenham and Pompey are no real competition.

Bruno Alves is being offered at full price, but they throw in one of those airplane bottles of tawny port. Tall, good in the air, technically good with the ball, experienced, and a leader; all of the qualities that Arsene hates! No, seriously, I can’t see Arsenal getting a deal for Alves and unless Wenger’s ready to pay full price the Porto player isn’t going to Arsenal. Chance of this happening, 2/10.

Samir Nasri is being offered as “like a new signing” and fully expects to play defensive midfield in the future. Ugh… Chances of this happening, 11/10.

And finally, the world’s dumbest apology

Before I sign off for the day, I thought I’d link to Gareth Barry’s apology to Villa fans. Now, I consider myself the master of the apology. I can say some stupid, un-researched shiat and totally apologize the very next day and generally get things right and set the table straight again. While apologizing my formula is to try to show some humility, explain myself using logic, and be sincere in saying “sorry.”

Gareth Barry does none of these things: it’s almost an anti-apology and as such one of the most humorous things I’ve read in a while. As far as I can tell he left Villa because he “needed a new challenge,” has “two kids to feed, man,” thinks City will “challenge for honors,” thinks regular football at City will somehow get him a place on the English National team ahead of their very crowded midfield, and “will always love Villa.”

The only person who could top that apology is Adebayor when he apologizes to Arsenal for leaving this summer.

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June 2009