Fabregate Should Be Decided Soon

As I’ve said before, I’d be shocked if Fabregas doesn’t get a ban for his part in Phil Brown’s spittergate. After all, Cesc is a member of Al Queda and we can give those fellers no quarter or they will be spitting on our children’s corpses: IT WAS THAT BAD.

There’s also very little news: Adebayor is going to Chelsea (OH GOD PLEASE YES), ManU is ready to win the title IN OUR FACES, Xabi Alonso is the first of a long summer of “not signing for Arsenal” stories, some Argentinian kid is in North London for a trial at Arsenal — and funny enough, he thought he was getting a trial at Arsenal di Sarandi! And finally, there’s a board room showdown brewing! Arsenal’s largest, I mean biggest, I mean fattest shareholder is going to challenge the board to a debt off. He’s worried that the £17m we pay in interest (despite the fact that we have £30m+ in annual cash profits AFTER paying debt, taxes, and salaries, etc AND that we have over £100m in cash reserves) anyway, Usemanoff is worried that the £17m in interest we pay on our £300m debt is holding us back from being more like his favorite club; Manchester United. And so he wants to try to force the board into a one time debt pay down thingy/marketing ploy to make himself look like he’s trying to improve the squad.

I think that the more owners get involved in the management of the team, the worse the team gets. So, he should sit down, shut the fuck up, and let Arsene Wenger build his team.

Anyway, while we’re waiting for the FA to hand out a 100 match ban for Cesc Fabregas raping Phil Brown’s children with spit, I’d like to give you a sepcial treat; Phil Brown’s season in photographs.

They won the first division in order to get promotion into the Premier League

After beating Fulham 2-1 in the first game of the season.

Then Wigan beats them 5-0.

His crowning glory… a 2-1 win over Arsenal.

Followed by a 1-0 win over Tottenham and West Ham and suddenly Hull City are the toast of London Town.

Then Chelsea hand them a 3-0 beat down, followed by a 4-3 loss to United and things aren’t so rosy again.

… followed by a string of losses and draws to a mix of teams. The fall is on.

Then, a stroke of geenious, he sits his players down, in front of the crowd and proceeds to give them a lecture. On boxing day.

They lose this game 5-1.

Not much fun happens until the bust up with old Joe Kinnear, where both managers are sent off.

They lose

They lose

it rains

They lose…

Wenger shakes his hand… again.

Then, Cesc invades the pitch mid-game, kicks in three illegal goals, wearing an Al Queda “bomber” jacket, while spitting on Phil Brown’s dessicated corpse. The world is outraged. Arsenal are banned from playing football for 10 years.

Hull are crushed and go on a loser’s streak

And now, here we come to the last two games of the season and even two wins (against Bolton and United) might not save them from relegation.

Arsenal still might have a say in this as well, if they can eek out a win against Man U this Saturday it will force  Man U to rape the dessicated corpse of Phil Brown in order to win the title on the last day of the season.

That would almost certainly see them relegated.

(Updated to make more sense and remove one extra picture, who knew that preview was my friend?)


8 Responses to “Fabregate Should Be Decided Soon”

    May 14, 2009 at 7:06 am

    he is my second most hated manager.. 1st is Jose Mourinho.

  2. 3 Manuel from Sarandi
    May 14, 2009 at 8:52 am

    Tim, I think you should devote one blog per month on our sister team Arsenal of Sarandi, my hometown team.

  3. 4 James
    May 14, 2009 at 8:55 am

    Love this…

  4. 5 vela12
    May 14, 2009 at 9:00 am


  5. 6 CaribKid
    May 14, 2009 at 10:53 am


    Since it’s your favorite team, why don’t you supply the info to Tom so he can submit the blog on a monthly basis, if he desires.

  6. 7 WC
    May 14, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    While Usmanov’s intentions to pay our debt seem admirable you can’t help but think of those old mafia movies where you ask for a favour and they grant it in return for one to be named later.

  7. 8 jackie wilshere
    May 14, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    As a fan of football altogether, I actually felt a bit of joy over Hull’s early season triumphs (could have done without the win over Arsenal ;p ) in the premier league. I thought it would be great for a promoted team to show some moxie and claim a spot in the top 10. However after Phil’s lies and crying over the FA Cup defeat I have been wanting Hull to drop so bad. Looks like they are on their way!

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