Archive for March 25th, 2009

25
Mar
09

AC Milan in Clichy Swoop and Other Nonsense

During the international break, these blogs are a true test of a blogger’s endurance: I have to like, literally, just crank something out. So, if you’re looking for something special, that undiscovered bottle of Gigondas in the back of the pantry, chances are it’s not going to happen. Take yesterday’s column. That wasn’t fit for me to wipe my own ass with! But I had to publish something and once I got like an hour into it I just went forward. Reminds me of when I was in grad school and I turned in a 10 page paper that I had written in like 3 hours and I got a 3.6 in the class despite the fact that the professor put “not your best work, 3.6” on my final. Not my best work gets a 3.6??? Wow.

In a sense it’s good because part of the process of writing, any art,  is to just keep doing something: keep shooting photos, keep writing, keep painting whatever just keep doing.

That’s what you get today, some of my “do.”

Hm… So, is Steven Gerrard the best player in the world and how exactly would you fellate him if you had a chance? The Times wants to know.

If you go all the way back to the beginning of the season, I picked Liverpool to win the league because, I reasoned, they had the best defense in the EPL and they had added a good goal scorer to the mix in Robbie Keane. Typically, I was wrong about the reason (Robbie Keane didn’t help them in that area) but correct about the diagnosis (they needed more goals) and now that they are scoring more goals, they look a legit title contender again despite the fact that they sold Keane.

Also, I was a bit biased because frankly I don’t care how good a team that Man Unit put out, I’d rather anyone but them win the league. Ok, anyone but them and one of Sam Allardyce’s current/former pack of cunts.

That said, I’m pretty tired of all the news stories fellating Gerrard. Yes, he’s a good player. Yes, he’s won loads of trophies. Yes, he’s crucial to Liverpool’s success. But the best player in the world has been decided and it is Ronaldo (skinny Ronaldo, not fat Ronaldo.)

I can’t stand Ronaldo and I think he disappears in big games, Eboue shuts him down for f*ck’s sake, but he is a huge talent who’s trophy cabinet is already filled with more medals than Gerrard (6 to 5) and he is 5 years younger. There’s a reason Ronaldo won so many individual accolades this year, he’s that good.

Gerrard is objectively not as good, but he does have the one thing that Ronaldo doesn’t, an English passport, and for the British press at the height of International week, that’s all that matters.

What else is going on? Oh yeah, as promised, here’s a story about Gael Clichy going to AC Milan. It’s in French so let me translate:

Blah blah blah 2o million euros blah blah blah escargot blah blah blah Phillipe Senderos and Mathieu Flamini (ouch) blah blah blah “I am not aware,” says Clichy. “I’m very well at Arsenal.” Blah blah blah “But it is true that AC Milan is a great big club and it is gratifying to know that you are followed by such a team.”

Hey, for £20m+ I would totally take the money and run. Finding another wing-back who can’t put in a decent cross can’t be that hard, can it?

Well, there’s your do, enjoy, I’ll be back tomorrow with even more do, do tune in.

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