Archive for March 21st, 2009

21
Mar
09

Newcastle v. Arsenal; liveblogging the best day ever?

Rooney! You're an *sshole.

Good morning and welcome to what could possibly be the best day ever. First, Chelsea are getting beaten 1-0 by Tottenham and second, and much more importantly, Man Unit had their asses handed to them 2-0 by Fulham. PLUS! Wayne Looney got sent off for something, which is a miracle, and I’m praying to the Gods that it’s for dissent.

I can’t wait to read the match report.

Lest you think that I’m purely negative, I’m also happy that Pompey got a win.

Now, if Arsenal gets a 6-0 win it will be a great day!  Back in a few minutes with the lineup.

Diaby and Denilson start in the middle and Arshavin and van Persie start up front. That means a 4-4-2 and Denilson/Diaby need a huge game: knock on wood!

Almunia

Sagna    Toure    Gallas    Clichy

Bendtner    Diaby    Denilson    Nasri

Arshavin

van Persie

Just a few seconds now ’till kickoff and news reports are indicating that Looney was sent off for dissent.

What’s Newcastle’s mascot? Is it supposed to be a magpie? Because it looks like a skunk. Oh, I bet I know what’s happening with Google Reader and my feed. It’s George W. Bush’s whacky time change! I just noticed that WordPress thinks it’s 9:33 am when here in America it’s 10:33 am, by King George’s decree! So, expect your feeds will be all f*cked up for the next few weeks, until time gets sorted.

Kickoff…

4′ — nothing happening, except Bendtner is doing his best Adebayor impersonation by getting caught offside a couple of times already.

6′ — Newcastle gets a corner when one of their players shoves Toure down from behind. Then Almunia does nothing in the box despite the ball coming in to the 6 yard box. Why have a keeper if he’s just going to stand there and watch?

9′ — Galas whiffs a wide open header. Damn.

13′ — Steven Taylor intentionally stands on Arshavin’s foot and kicks him in the back of the leg. No foul called. That’s the kind of cheap shiat that I hate, I hope Steven Taylor suffers a career ending injury at the hands of one of his teammates.

18′ — Duff with a terrible dive. Come on ref, get out the cards.

23′ FUCK YOU CUNTS

25′ — How the hell did the ref give Newcuntsle a penalty? Can someone please enlighten me as to how that was a foul much less a penalty? Arshavin with a great little move and shot, luckily saved by Steven Cunt.

30′ — Steven Cunt looks up sees Arshavin going for the ball and elbows him intentionally in the face. That should have been a straight red. At least the ref saw a foul this time.

35′ — Arshavin dribbles through a barrage of Steven Cunt “tackles” and shirt pulling to rifle in a tremendous shot. That’s one way to answer them, get a good goal. Damien Cunt with a foul on Sagna.

40′ — Arsenal need to tighten up in defense, Newcastle, a team that is a quivering wreck of a team, is picking out angles and passes and looking like they are going to score. I mean, we’re letting Damien Duff overrun us.

44′ — Lucky save by Harper van Persie with a great run and shot — and as I’m typing that he makes another HUGE save. Come on you REDS!

Damn. Tough first half. Arsenal look out of sorts, they look like they are passing to ghosts right now. Maybe Arsene will get out the half-time hair dryer?

WOW… I just saw why Looney got sent off. He threw the ball at the ref from like 50 yards away, then screamed and threw a tantrum as he walked to the shower. 10 match ban?

52′ — Sorry bout that, had to hold my daughter for a minute. Gallas earns the first yellow of the match. Well, in Cappy.

56′ — yes, Los, Diaby is having a poor game. The whole team’s having a poor game.

59′ — Oh for fuck’s sake… After Bendtner puts in a brilliant header, the defense falls asleep and Obafemi Cunt puts in an easy goal. 1-1 and I’m back to anger.

62′ — Steven Cunt is limping off! PLEASE IF THERE ARE GODS MAKE IT CAREER ENDING!

64′ — YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Diaby follows Bendtner in the “just do one thing right” category and scores a superb goal through some good interplay between he and van Persie.

67′ — YEEEEESSSSSSSSS! van Persie plays another great ball in, this time to Nasri who gets his first goal since January.

69′ — Who wants to put money on Denilson getting a goal?

71′ — Harper has van Persie’s number as he makes another good save off the Arsenal forward.

75′ — Song comes on for Arshavin who’s now been properly introduced to English Football.

83′ — Arsenal have killed this game off and maybe even killed off Newcastle’s hopes of staying above the drop. I used to have respect for this team, that’s lost now that they’ve put out a team of straight thugs.

87′ — Two Goal Eboue is coming on, I wonder what dance he has in store for us today?

92′ — The Newcastle announcer has given man of the match to Steven Taylor. OK, I now officially am hoping this club gets relegated.

Whelp, the right team won and that’s all that matters. Thanks for tuning in today and come back tomorrow for The Good, Bad, and Ugly.

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