Archive for February 6th, 2009


Clash of the Titans

Arshavin prepares for the North London derby

It’s spelled d-e-r-b-y but pronounced “darby.” I don’t know why, it’s just one of those mysteries, like why Kevin Davies’ name is spelled like Davies but pronounced “c*nt.” No one knows why, it’s just how it’s pronounced.

Arsene hasn’t given his Friday interview yet so this is sort of like a second day off in a row: I just make shiat up. Hey, I could get a job at The Sun!

Anyway, ahead of the North London derby on Sunday the press are whipping the fans into a frenzy by asking “Which is the bigger club?“Actually no one is getting whipped into anything with that question because it’s so prima facie retarded that it only draws derisive laughter. Who’s the bigger club? How about the one that’s worth $1.7bn? How about the one who use their money wisely and actually built a bigger stadium, instead of just designing Emirates Two and calling it “Naming Rights Stadium?” Or how about the team that develops talent instead of just bringing back in failures from other teams?

Or how about the only team that has realistically competed with Man U for the league title over the last 10 years?

It’s such a preposterous question it’s almost not funny (sips coffee from Spurs commemorative 5-1 victory mug). There is no comparison, Spuds are at the foot of the table and Arsenal are in 5th place and hoping to continue their lossless streak in order to mount a challenge for 4th place (I hope to never write that sentence again). St. Totteringham’s Day may come early again this year.

That said, this won’t be an easy match. Spuds are good at scoring goals and Arsenal are good at leaking them. We have Spud killer Adebayor who is dying to get his groove back, they have Robbie C*nt, who scored a goal for Liverpool against Arsenal. We have a team of youngsters, they have a bunch of Arsenal rejects who love nothing more than to stick in a rat faced goal from mid-field.

It’s true that if the Spurs team is up for the match, and why wouldn’t they be, the game could easily go either way. It will be a tight affair and as they say “Spuds will fancy their chances.

Tomorrow, there will be a full preview with team rosters and viewing times/locations. Until then, let’s all ask the Gods to bring us the Adebayor who scored this goal.

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February 2009