If the house is burning Song will put it out.

I can't watch

If I ask you ‘what does it mean if your house burns down?’ you will tell me ‘why should my house burn down?’ That is exactly the same for me. — Arsene Wenger on why losing 4th place isn’t a big deal.

I would say it was an incredible presser, but in a season of eye-popping incredulity it was not just simply incredible, it was a ludicrous presser. He actually stunned the press with that statement above and for good reason. Here is a man who has been at the top of everything he’s ever done, brushing off the obvious threat of Aston Villa with a statement that defies logic.

If someone asks me “What does it mean if your house burns down” I respond with “Well hopefully everyone gets out, which is why I have fully functioning smoke alarms in many rooms, and once everyone gets out, I call my insurance agent and make a claim. That’s why we have insurance.”


The one thing Wenger forgot to sign up for this summer while he was hemming and hawing over signing a broken Man U center half and a child king from Wales.

But worse, it’s not a question of IF the house should burn down, it’s a question of “Hey dude, your house, I think it’s on fire. There’s a ton of smoke coming out of the kitchen.” and Wenger saying “Hmm… I don’t think so, besides, the timbers are very good they need some time to mature and they will be able to withstand a little fire. Plus that smoke is probably just William.”

“Well, ok, but where there’s smoke…”

I’m all for standing by your team and that’s no doubt what he’s doing — he could hardly come out in January and say “well, yes, that Summer transfer window was a huge mistake, we took a major gamble on Song and Diaby and they turned out to be just a little bit shit, didn’t they?” slap, huzzah, guffaw — but when the house is 2/3 burning don’t bullshit us all and say that everything is ok.

Especially when the facts all indicate that you know that everything wasn’t all right. Why else would they bid for Alonso? There is no more damning evidence that even Wenger himself knew this was a huge gamble than Arsenal’s failed summer bid for Xavi Alonso. I mean, he made a bid for a central midfielder back when we had Cesc, Theo, Diaby, Denilson, Nasri, Eboue (remember how he played in the center of the park? THAT WAS A HOOT!) and Song was still playing center back.

I find it more likely that he’s passed the rule over a few players in this transfer window, he did admit that they made inquiries, and found either the price too steep or the player not interested. So, he’s making shit up now. Too bad he’s such a poor story teller.

He also made denials about whether we’re on the verge of signing Arshavin from Champion racists Zenit but then said that supposedly we’ll know if Arshavin is signing for Arsenal here in just a few minutes (it’s nearly kickoff of the Arsenal v. Wet Ham match). I can’t wait for this whole transfer window to be closed. Just so that I don’t have to hear another preposterous proclamation fall out of Wenger’s mouth.

Match report tomorrow, see you then, unless you’re with me at Doyle’s today! In which case I’ll see you then.

Double check your smoke detectors will ya?

12 Responses to “If the house is burning Song will put it out.”

  1. 1 Dan
    January 31, 2009 at 7:55 am

    Hopefully Song will have to retire from professional football due to smoke inhalation…awful footballer, yet he will still get games.

    SORT IT OUT WENGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. January 31, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Oh dear. I do not want to be here when Tim gets back from Doyles.

    I think I’ll take a few days off from reading about the game and come back in time for Cardiff’s visit.

  3. 3 arsenekidz
    January 31, 2009 at 9:04 am

    Has Wenger gone senile?

  4. 4 VolsnCards5
    January 31, 2009 at 9:52 am

    its probably to late for this…but why not buy a CB like oguchi onyewu…he has always reminded me of sol campbell, and lets face it, this back line has not been the same since sol left…onyewu is apparently for sell from standard liege and could probably be gotten on the cheap at cheap wages…if he sucks, he sucks and we sell him this summer….but i really think he would help us defend set pieces and wouldn’t let goals like cahill’s be so easy

    him and arshavin together could really strengthen this team

  5. 5 Keith Barham
    January 31, 2009 at 10:47 am

    Wenger’s quote reminds me of the personalized auto tags I see while driving. You know, the ones that are the most random assemblage of characters possible. Sure it makes sense to that person, but zero to anyone else. I am going to spend as much time figuring out what he meant as I spend on those plates – NONE!

    Sometimes it helps to know when someone is talking bollocks. This is one of those times.

    I kept waiting for something to happen today. After about 94 minutes, the match ended and everyone left. Meh.

  6. 6 Tim
    January 31, 2009 at 10:53 am


    That was crap but no surprise really.

    Remember when Wenger said that Villa would drop some points? Well, they’ve gained points on us while we’ve dropped left and right.

  7. 7 caribkid
    January 31, 2009 at 11:28 am


    Come on now, Wenger was right for once, Villa will drop points and they lost 2 today. However, he forgot mention that Arsenal would drop 5 within the same time frame (LOL)

    I need something to laugh about Tim, post a funny photo or something.

    Only consolation is that “Arry” and the Spuds got trounced by Bolton, and “Oil City” had another energy shortage and got beaten by 10 man Stoke. At least we have company in our misery.

  8. 8 Tim
    January 31, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    This is no laughing matter!

    Actually, I looked for something funny but gave up and made marinara sauce instead.

    Oh well!

  9. 9 caribkid
    January 31, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    In the Telegraph, an excerpt that says it all:

    “Any doubt that Arsenal need an injection of creativity disappeared in a blizzard of tedium. And to think this was once a cathedral of attractive football.

    Arsenal are in danger of becoming the Woody Allen of the Premier League, a once-brilliant performer churning out almost unwatchable mediocrity and dreaming of past glories. “

  10. February 1, 2009 at 6:10 am

    awesome post man!!! probably wenger will know that the house is burning when it has burned down and we are out of the champions league next season and wenger will be like wtf! i thought these ‘timbers’ are really good… but who knows wenger will come into next season and say ahh finally i think these guys are capable of fighting for the title and another season will go down the drain and we will remain cursing him and the players for another year and the story goes on
    someone donate a brain to wenger… i think he has lost his!

  11. February 1, 2009 at 8:57 am

    that is laughable, not as bad rafa benitez though.

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