Archive for January 27th, 2009


Arsenal have NOT agreed to a deal with Zenit — Full Stop

Just as I get in to work, the dot com reports that Arsenal have not agreed to the fee with Zenit over Andrei Arshavin.

Also, they are not worried about the deal because Arsenal are playing Everton tomorrow.

Also, Usmanov has not bought anything, apart from a box of Krispy Kreme’s.

Also, the only place where we should be getting our news about transfers is from the dot com.

Also, no deal is none.

Also, I’m not mentioning this any more, unless he signs for Arsenal and I read about it on the dot com and there is a picture of him holding up the number 613 shirt or what ever “squad number” we have left over.

Full Stop.



Are you done with the Arshavin thing?

Sick of it all

Yesterday’s blog was meant as a sort of piece of performance art; a commentary on how wild eyed we’ve all gotten over the signing of a man who hasn’t played a lick of football in several months, who’s never played in the EPL, who is undoubtedly a decent player but is by no stretch a savior, who’s fitness was questioned by Arsene Wenger, who’s current club is bat-shit insane AND racist, and who’s agent is really starting to get on my pecs.

I kind of figured I’d deconstruct the entire affair, by making an ironically over-the-top, Twitter-esque, running commentary of the nothing that was going to happen. Make nothing into something to show us all that this was really nothing. Right?

And of course, it turns out that there is something to all this because at the height of my ironic absurdity, things literally got absurd when blogs started reporting craziness like “Usmanov buys Arshavin” followed by Zenit’s absurd (is there something beyond absurd?) statement that the clubs have reached a deal but that the player hasn’t reached a deal even though both parties have previously said that the player reached a deal and it all boils down to the same old crap; Arsenal refusing to cave into Zenit’s insistence that they pay Arshavin’s agent, who is negotiating on behalf of Zenit, a £3m finder’s fee. At least that’s the latest from Gunnerblog who is a very reliable source and has a pretty good piece of speculation today.

At this point, though, I really couldn’t give two fucks. TWO FUCKS. I’d much rather that the club didn’t deal with such a bunch of amateurs and assholes and racists. I’d much rather that Arsenal swooped in on Bolton who are making a £12m bid for Veloso and plucked him from their greasy little pie stained hands and left them lying bruised in a steaming pile of Davies.

But it seems like I can’t escape this gold-plated-turd of a deal. I had a bad taste at the beginning of this Arshavin saga; whenever a player publicly threatens his team over a transfer it leaves me feeling uneasy. Then some of you made some good arguments, which sort of glossed over the whole thing. And now I’m back to “I have a bad feeling about this whole thing” and “this will end badly.” The only facts I have to back this feeling up are the numerous contradictory statements that have come out of the mouths of all three Russian parties in this agreement (Zenit, Arshavin, and his Agent) and we could argue over them until the cows come home.

Let’s not? Let’s instead pay attention to the fact that Arsenal travel to Liverpool to take on a very resilient and currently plucky Everton tomorrow, shall we?

Right. Moving on then — unfortunately, it’s a mid-day match and I have a super busy schedule tomorrow so I cannot get off to see it live. That said, I have a super busy schedule tomorrow so hopefully I can avoid a score line and will be able to see the match with fresh eyes at Doyle’s after work.

If you live in town, come join me around 5pm and watch the replay. You know who you are (only two of you came out for the Cardiff match) and yes, I am shaming you into coming out tomorrow.

Match preview tomorrow, Good-Bad-Ugly on Thursday, and transfer window closes on Monday. T-minus 6 days and we won’t have to talk about He Who Shall Not Be Named ever again, except maybe his name will be the answer to some trivia night question like “Who was the most over-rated, media-frenzied, unlikely to break Arsenal’s transfer record since they had previously refused to pay over that amount for Xavi Alonso who is undoubtedly a better player, transfer target in the history of Arsenal FC?” A long question I know, but it’s only fair as there have been so many crazy ass transfers in our history.

See you tomorrow!

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