What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, you’re a Goonah.

A few months ago, I discovered Nick Hornby’s blog.  If you don’t know who he is, just do a Google search, you’ll no doubt recognize some of his work.  The point is, he’s a Gooner, and an old school Gooner at that.  He’s a guy who lived through the largely trophyless 1970s and 1980s and he’s still a Gooner.  It was a time when an Arsenal supporter’s only joy was winning one over Spurs.

One of the only certainties of that period was that Arsenal fans always had something to complain about and Nick writes about these fans in his book Fever Pitch.  Given that even in these days and times when Arsenal are a perennial threat to win and fans still complain I have to wonder if a certain type of person falls in love with Arsenal; like some kind of Myers-Briggs personality test where the last question is “do you support Arsenal?”  Oh yeah?  Oh forget the rest of the test, you’re a Never Satisfied Constant Whiner.

It’s the only thing that makes any sense!  Arsenal fans from all over the world are like this.  A win is never good enough.  The unbeaten season? They should have won the Champions League and the FA cup.  And, of course, yesterday’s win is a clear indication that Arsenal should sign 4 players; a striker, a midfielder, a defender and a keeper.  Clearly, a 1-0 win over W.B.A. is evidence that the wheels have come off the team, right?

Wrong.  W.B.A. is a good team.  They play good football.  They aren’t some team of shiat-kickers who lump and crunch, they actually showed some good movement, some decent defense, and a reasonable attack.  Besides which, on any day any Premiership team can beat any other Premiership team.  Add in that Arsenal are missing 8 players due to injury or internationals; Diaby, Eduardo, Rosicky, Bischoff, Fabregas, Senderos, Song, and Toure is just now recovering full fitness after battling malaria.  And maybe, just maybe a 1-0 win is looking pretty good.

But more to the point, Toure had Malaria for Christ’s sake.  When you say “we need a new center half” are you suggesting that Toure doesn’t cut the mustard?  The only reason he didn’t start is BECAUSE HE HAD MALARIA.

Or Senderos?  I know that a lot of people like to whip Senderos, but this kid is easily as good Squirtle, Vidic, or just about any of the second choice top center halfs in the Premier League.  You can argue that he isn’t, that he makes mistakes, but I’ve seen them all make mistakes.  I’ve even seen them all make big mistakes in big matches.

And what if I were to conceed that in some areas the team lacks quality?  What then?  Should Arsenal “open the coffers” and buy?  How?  By borrowing money like Man U?  To the tune of nearly a £1bn in debt?  Or maybe they should just have some oligarch pretend to spend money on the team while secretly loading up the books with bonds payable to him?  Or perhaps, Arsenal could overspend every season, drop to 12th place and win the Carling Cup (as Wenger suggested would define “success” so cheekily yesterday)?  Sorry, but money doesn’t buy trophies, ask Chelsea.  Money doesn’t buy quality, ask Spuds.  And borrowed money might get you temporary success, but the hangover is a bitch.

Nope, I like this squad and I have to agree with Wenger that at most this team needs one more player.  No need to panic, no need to crack open the checkbook and over spend, let’s just see what this team can do. It’s not like they got a pitiful 1-1 draw against a hapless team of misfits like Newcastle.  They WON!  And like I always say, why hangover when you can hang on?


14 Responses to “What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, you’re a Goonah.”

  1. 1 Sak
    August 17, 2008 at 9:42 am

    completely agree with you… so all your worries will be sorted if we sign an ‘experienced’ defensive midfielder… i hope it will… let me clarify one thing… people who are all saying we don have enough depth in the squad are all not evaluating our squad the same way as they doing for others (at least on paper….) at this moment only Chelsea has good depth in the squad (on paper)….but over team is more versatile…

  2. 2 iceycalm
    August 17, 2008 at 9:49 am

    finally! a breath of fresh air! i’m sick of listening to the constant moaning of other arsenal ‘fans’. and booing ade, while he’s still in an arsenal shirt is f**king ridiculous. they’ll boo and boo and then wonder why the guy hasn’t hit any form yet. hypocrites.

    we do need a midfielder, a rough and ready terrier, smart on the ball. unfortunately, as much as people tried to deny it upon his departure, flamini was perfect for cesc and arsenal. assuming he could’ve matched the world class performances he exhibited in almost every game he played in last season. ah well, better to have loved and lost…..

    anyway, life can never be that bad, loved the spurs game. i mean, what a battle cry for their push for fourth. altho, considering liverpools performance, they may still be in with a shout….

  3. 3 Sak
    August 17, 2008 at 9:53 am

    count today’s man u’s performance too

  4. 4 Bull
    August 17, 2008 at 11:07 am

    Your talking through your arse a 1 nil win over WBA is not good enough! We definintely need a centre half, Senderos is as good as Vidic your clueless. Add to the that the lack of depth in midfield and unfortunately I think we will struggle this year. I know that Arsene knows best, but you can’t promise that the youngsters will come through year on year and win nothing. Something needs to happen this year and Barry or Alonso could make it happen.

  5. 5 Phil
    August 17, 2008 at 11:19 am

    Bull has has made some great sense here, saying senderos is as good as vidic is ridiculous. And despite people saying denilson has been good so far, i think thats way of the mark, i thought he was out of his depth and if you watched how many times we lost the ball against west brom, a lot of them were due to lacklustre denilson passes. Ramsey, song, diaby and wilshire, may all be good players, but they are all some ways away from being good enough for a regular first team place. Eboue is shocking, just shocking, i think he’d struggle to start at any other prem team.

    Luckily, we do have lots of things going our way which can gloss over our inadequacies, quality all through our forward line, the 2 best full backs in the world, a good keeper and some great mids. I think our problems would be solved with a defensive mid and a really solid centre back to play instead of gallas, not toure.

  6. 6 jonnyz
    August 17, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    The invincibles were like jumping into a ferrari, the current team is like riding a tricycle. The author of this piece is at this very moment staring transfixed covered in soapy bubbles carresing a cheerful rubber ducky thinking its a majestic mega-yacht. Don’t presume to know real goona fans, son. Discerning goonas know the difference.

  7. 7 flaungoonbar
    August 17, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    Here here, we had the same shit last season from the media and all doom and gloom arsenal fans.Why doesnt everyone just shut up, support the team and see what happens ay

  8. 8 CaribKid
    August 17, 2008 at 3:45 pm


    I see you are being attacked by the same fans described in the book, so I guess Nick knows what he is writing about.

    In a perfect world, the Arsenal team would be imperfect. Fortunately, the world is imperfect and all other teams have imperfections, including our main adversaries MU, Liverpool, Chelsea and Tottenham.

    We have a good squad and with the addition of a couple players we will have as good a chance of any of our competitors to bring home the EPl and CL trophies.

  9. 9 T-town Alex
    August 17, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    Let’s enjoy & support this team because the one thing that I think nobody can disagree with is that THE TEAM IS HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. Hey, we must be doing something right. Did anybody watch the Chelsea game? It was like watching an Arsenal game of old. Copying is the best form of flattery, right?!
    And yes, all teams do have imperfections, and always had … EXCEPT the French national team of 1998-2000 which was PERFECT. But I am not adding to the debate here because everybody knows this :-)

  10. 10 Stu
    August 17, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    Some people will go through their entire lives not enjoying what’s good as it happens because they were so busy thinking about how much better it could be. No doubt such people will look back on their association with football as they get really old and wonder why the fuck they didn’t just calm the fuck down and enjoy something which was good whilst it was there.

    Are we going to win every game in every competiton? No…

    Are we quite possible title challengers? Yes- so seriously calm down and shut up. This media-inspired bullshit is so seriously tedious and unrealistic.

    Imagine if next year we get bought out by Usmanov against the wishes of all the fans. What will everyone be saying then? I wish we could have stayed as we were- this is shit. And that’s it- it would be a shit situation and it’s also very possible. So before everyone dies of depression after we opened up a 2 point gap on Utd after 1 day of the season starting, let’s just look at this- we have a good squad have just won our first game and Wenger said he’s buying another MF.

    Good fucking God. How people will look back on these days fondly and think ‘we may have finished 2nd (or wherever the fuck we finish this season) but at least we had a nice team, not ONLY mercenaries and weren’t in a shit load of debt run by some cuntish Oligarch.’

  11. 11 Stu
    August 17, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    Besides which we might well win the fucking league.

  12. 12 steve
    August 17, 2008 at 11:17 pm

    Best blog ive read all year

  13. August 18, 2008 at 3:54 am

    I didn’t hear a single argument, not one reason, not a stat, no fact that proves Vidic is better than big Phil.

    I happen to believe that Arsenal has one of top four defenses in the league and I come to that conclusion based on the number of goals allowed and points conceded. Senderos was a part of that.

    I also remember the record breaking back 4 in the Champions League. Senderos was a part of that.

    Yesterday, I saw a munchkin of a man out leap Vidic to the ball off a corner. If he played for Arsenal people like JonnyZ, Phil, and Bull would be screaming for him to be replaced. Just relax guys and enjoy the team, Arsene has built something really special here.

  14. 14 jonnyz
    August 18, 2008 at 9:48 am

    trying to relax, there’s lots to like in the squad and there’s lots not to like. i say we do about third in the league. arsenal is the way and shows the way but of late we’ve been absolutely over-run by potential. additional meaningful cover and a xabi-like signing are vital for any title/trophy talk. nas, our m.o.m.?, a signing we can’t say we developed, it’s time for a little humility and proper honest gauging of where we truly are and what needs to be done to be a legitimate title threat. i enjoy your blog.

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