What to root for in the last weeks of the season?

I hate people who root against something… publicly. You know the guy/gal, they’re the Chelsea supporter who comes in to watch Arsenal v. Bolton and roots for Bolton. I mean, who could possibly root for Bolton? You’d have to be a massive c*nt to root for Bolton and an even bigger c*nt to be a Chelsea supporter publicly rooting for Bolton because you hate Arsenal. That’s something you do in private.

So, in honor of that I want to give you some things that you can root for as the season winds down, rather than just rooting against ManU and Chelsea.

1. Everton v. Chelsea — FA Cup Final

I like Everton, they play hard but fair. I also like what David Moyes has done with that team. Arsenal supporters often have to say “well, Arsenal don’t have the same budget as the top four teams and yet we still compete.” If that’s true about Arsenal, that’s even truer for Everton.

But moreover, Everton’s season was decimated by injury and kicked off even worse than Arsenal’s season — losing to Rovers and Pompey in their first three games. But Moyes stayed the course, bolstered his team, and pulled them from the ashes. Moyes’ belief and coaching acumen has pretty much guaranteed European football next year and that’s something worth rooting for right there.

Besides which, when Everton beat Chelsea it will mean that Chelsea have won exactly the same number of trophies as Arsenal over the last two years; zero. Not that I’m rooting against them or anything… the c*nts.

2. Barcelona v. Man U — Champions League Final

This one is easy, I’m rooting for Thierry Henry to win the Champions League. It’s the only medal he has left to collect and this is probably his last real chance to win. Besides, I like the way that Barcelona play, it’s very Arsenal-esque. Arsenal-esque, but more experienced, which everyone says is what Arsenal need to win a trophy, right? So, we have to root for Barca, they are what we all expect Arsenal to be next season, hell, they even wear yellow.

Besides which, when Barcelona beat Man U for the Champions League title it will prevent them from doing the unbearable; back-to-back Champions League trophies. Which we’d have to hear about for about a f*cking century. Not that I’m rooting against them or anything… the c*nts.

3. Liverpool to win the Premier League

This is going to be a tough one for them, but I think they can do it, especially if Arsenal win out. I will say that I really like most Liverpool fans. There is no group of longer suffering, more dedicated, more loyal supporters than Liverpool supporters. Ok, well, maybe Everton and Newcastle supporters have had it a bit worse, but Liverpool.. erm… Liverpool deserve to win the title again, it’s their birthright!

Besides, wouldn’t it be delicious irony if Liverpool were to win the title, with the help of Arsenal beating Chelsea and Man U, on the 20th anniversary of the season that Arsenal nipped the title from them?

Oh yeah, not to mention that I predicted they would win the title.

Oh yeah, and if Barca win the Champions League and Liverpool win the Premier League then Man U will have won just one trophy this season: the Carling Cup. Not that I’m rooting against them or anything… the c*nts.

4. Arsenal for 3rd place

This is obvious, 3rd place means automatic qualification into the group stages of the Champions League and 4th place means we have an open qualification to get into the group stages. Open qualification means we could face, say, Roma in a one-off home and away, right there at the start of the season. So, 3rd place means something to us and we can start by beating Chelsea at the Emirates on Sunday.

Besides, if Arsenal top Chelsea in the league and Chelsea lose the FA Cup final it would mean that Arsenal and Chelsea won the exact same number of trophies for two years straight (ZERO) and Arsenal but did so by keeping the same coach, not spending £500m, and not being a hideous pack of ref threatening crybaby c*nts. Not that I’m rooting against them or anything… the c*nts.

UPDATE: Or How Could I have Been So Stupid And Missed This???

If we win out we will be 24 unbeaten in the league and perfectly set to jump into next season with a great unbeaten run.  And to think, I moaned when Sunderland held us to 0-0 draw!

Arsenal v. Burnley; liveblogging the FA Cup 5th round

Good morning kickers, t-minus 10 minutes until kickoff and nothing to report. Just sitting here watching footballing fraud Gordon Ramsey take the piss out of a bunch of butchers.

More coffee needed!

Uhhhh, strange lineup: Eduardo up front (YAY!) and Diaby and Song partner in the middle.

Oh and Eb*ue on the right.

How much you want to bet Eb*ue gets a straight red?

2′ — Chris Eagles put’s in a nice cross defended sufficiently by Arsenal.

4′ — The camera pans to the Boss and I have to say Wenger looks tired, and old. This season seems to have taken a lot out of the man.

6′ — !!! Song makes a critical tackle as Burnley nearly break into the box. It was a stab at the ball, lazy tackling, and I thought for sure it was going to be a penalty but Song got the tackle 100% right. WHEW

9′ — Sagna has an audacious shot on goal, though to hear the announcers it was a cross. I’m giving benefit of the doubt to Sagna there.

12′ — Eb*ue earns a free kick and Captain Dudu puts in a decent effort from long range, just needed a touch from Vela and that was a goal.

13′ — Another important save by Song, man, he’d be great in the League Championship.

20′ — Arshavin dribbles from shoulder to shoulder and plays in a ball to Vela. I was hoping he saw just a glimmer of space and had a shot but as it turns out, Vela was wide open but the ball was played too hard and the attack fizzles out. Grumblings in the stands…. hmmm…

24′ — Just as the announcers were blowing smoke rings up Burnley’s ass, the Burnley defense makes a mistake, Arshavin latches on to it and plays a good ball in for Vela who nutmegs the defender and chips in a beauty over the sprawling keeper. Brilliant “Arsenal” goal.

30′ — The announcers mention the condition of the pitch, did you know that Arsenal lost thier head groundsman to Real Madrid? It’s true.

32′ — Am I the only one who thinks Diaby is putting in one of his typically lazy performances?

36′ — Loads of possession for Arsenal which was starting to lul me to sleep before Eduardo put in a good ball that nearly fell to Vela for his second. I wouldn’t have thought that the Vela/Dudu combo would be particularly effective but they seem to compliment each other nicely.

40′ — the stands clear out as everyone goes for a beer. I hadn’t noticed that about Eb*ue, Darkhail, I’ll have to watch. Arshavin with a third poor corner. Gods, Arsenal suck at corners, even Arsaviour cannot get them right all the sudden.

44′ — Burnley misses a golden chance as Fabianski comes for the ball and makes a hash of it. Every corner is aimed at Eduardo. A little bit more creativity there would probably result in another goal.

End of the first half and I do have to give credit to Burnley, they are attacking a bit more that I expected, clearly Arsenal’s latest results left the Burnley boss thinking they could come in to Emirates and get a result. Frankly, though, Arsenal don’t look likely to conceed unless they make another huge gaffe.

All right, 10 minutes of Hooters commercials and we’ll resume this.

Gorm, it’s not Eb*ue’s heart, it’s his head. He’d certainly be one of the fan favorites if he wasn’t clearly mental.

46′ — Second half kicks off and I choose Adebayor over Drogba. Because Adebayor is crazy but I could never see him giving fans the finger and tossing coins back into the crowd.

48′ — Beer and a “brat” is £7 and I’m pretty sure that it’s a no-drinks-zone in the stands.

49′ — THEO THEO THEO! The supporters are staying on the concourse and I don’t really blame them, it’s snowing.

51′ — I was just sitting here thinking, “Song has at least been trying to get the ball forward for once” when he suddenly plays a ball in to Eduardo who puts in one of the prettiest finishes I’ve ever seen from an Arsenal player, cheeky little volley. Lovely stuff.

Pure class.

Dudu is the shit.

55′ — 5 minutes for Arsaviour to get a goal. He hasn’t really looked threatening but still, comeonandreicomeonandreicomeonandrei

60′ — Burnley makes some subs, yawn. Which team are you going to see Matt?

63′ — Yeah, Matt, I’m not too excited that Wenger is leaving Eduardo, Diaby, and Arshavin on, all of them are struggling at the moment. Diaby in particular looks like he’s about to collapse. Either that or he’s back to just not caring.

67′ — words, eaten, as Diaby makes an important run back to stop the Burley counter after Gibbs gives the ball away. Theo and Rambo set to come on. Matt, Citeh, ‘Boro, and Stoke, those are the choices.

72′ — THEO THEO THEO!

78′ — Uhhh, the commentators are giving Theo shit for not being a good finisher. Come on, this is his first game back after the injury.

83′ — Poor decision from the linesman there… LOL EBOUE!!!

85′ — Aveline is crying, I gotta help out, I’ll remark if something good happens.

All right ladies and gents, good win, fun match to watch and next up in the FA Cup is Revenge of the Hull. More importantly it’s a great way to kick off Wednesday’s match against Roma.

I’ve got to get ready for 5 a side so I’m out of here.  Have fun out there today kids!

Well that sucked

I’m really struggling to find something positive to say about this match…

Yesterday just started out really poor. I ordered the match via PPV and we all got in our Arsenal shirts and sat staring at a black screen. 15 minutes go by and still no signal so I call the cable company. They don’t know what’s going on. 30 minutes go by, the match is under way and I still have no signal so I call them again. They still don’t know what’s going on. Fuck. I check the score (2-0) and head down to Doyle’s to watch the worst game I have seen Arsenal play since that 5-1 drubbing by Spuds.

Wait! I’ve got it! Something positive!

Fuck you Eboue.

Remember when I said I wouldn’t hate on Eboue anymore? I’m calling that off — erm, back on, you know what I mean. I don’t care what Wenger’s plan is for him. He’s worn out his welcome with me, with Arseblogger, with Goodplaya, with The Cannon, and with so many of us. The team played better when they were down to 10 men. This team has been better in his absence to the ACN. And this team will be better without him for 3 or more matches while he serves his punishment for being… himself.

I don’t really have anything else to add. You all saw the match, you’ve read the commentary, and you know that Nanny deserved to have both legs sawed off at the knee for his shameful seal dribble.

Wait, I do have something positive to say; the only bright spot in that match was Flamini’s challenge on Nanny after that dribble. Watch it here, he comes in knee high, studs up, and then let’s Nanny know that if he tries that again he’ll rip his head off and shit down his neck.

Flamini was my man of the match.

And with that I bid you good day.

9am kickoff

Lots of team news today as I am left playing catch-up due to yesterday’s bloviating on the topic of a 39th game. Which, according to FIFA is deader than making love to Paris Hilton. Sepp Blatter basically reminded the FA (edit: it’s not the FA that wants the 39th game, it’s the Premier League.  The FA has come out against the 39th game.  Jesus, you Brits and your dizzying array of bureaucracies!)  that they are the world governing body and are the only organization allowed to make money off the international game. Add in that we now have a few teams saying that they weren’t really behind the idea and it’s clearly starting to unravel. Good. I now return you to your regularly scheduled English Football program.

Tomorrow is an FA Cup match at Old Trafford against the Men United. If you were to look at the history, the place in the league, and the general animosity between what amounts to the two biggest clubs in England you might think this would shape up to be a great match. But I won’t be surprised if Arsenal are handed a pretty spectacular defeat. Why?

Well, United are fielding their first team and Arsenal are missing 10 men: Johan Djourou (groin), Robin van Persie (thigh), Abou Diaby (calf), Manuel Almunia (sick), Denilson (hamstring), Tomas Rosicky (hamstring), Walcott (thigh), Clichy (hamstring), Sagna (personal reasons) and Senderos (knee/thigh). Which leads the boss to say that the squad “will be as strong as possible so we have a good chance to win the game without putting the rest of the season into jeopardy by risking injuries.” Clearly Wenger sees the FA Cup as less important than winning the “Two Leagues.”

Wenger goes on to reveal that there are only 14 players fit for the tie and so all of them will travel and the starting XI will be selected by the “who’s less likely to suffer major injury method.” Well, that seals it then, Arsenal have to be major underdogs in this match and maybe we can see a player like Bendtner or Hoyte really blossom.

This match has a lot of history and at one level I’m disappointed that so many players are injured. I’d love nothing more than to see Arsenal shove this match down Sir Whiskey Face’s throat and follow it up with a few slices of pizza. But at another level I have to admit, winning the Champions League and getting the Premiership trophy back would be so much sweeter. Especially given the writing off that so many of us gave Arsenal at the start of the season. Plus, at another level, with so many injuries and so few expectations, we might just see a classic tomorrow — you know “the day Hoyte shut down Ronaldo” kind of thing. Like last year when Eboue shut him down. Now that would be cool.

As for where you can watch the match; it’s on PPV here in America so check your local cable listings. My cable company (Click! — the city owned cable company in Tacoma) has the match live for $16, the other option is to go to a pub that has a contract with Setanta and pay the publican to see the match. Doyle’s is showing the match for $10. I’ll be ordering the match in tomorrow because my old lady and her daughter want to watch it. So, no Doyle’s for me.

That’s pretty much it. There’s a revelation that Cesc is re-negotiating his contract to add another two years (which will see him at the club until 2016) and another £30,000/wk to his annual wages — this just means that he will be worth even more when Arsenal sell him in 2010. And of course Gael Clichy reveals that he’s an ambitious young fellow who is concentrating on hard work in order to achieve his dreams. There was a player with Arsenal recently who moaned about not getting into the first team but didn’t want to put in the hard work and dedication necessary, if only I could remember his name… oh well, anyway, that person could learn a lesson from Clichy.

Until tomorrow, keep kicking.

it’s over

No, not the cold, it’s still dropping below freezing every morning. Which means that every morning I have to get up and scrape the ice off the windshield of my truck.

No! I mean the Adebayor and Bendtner bust up! It’s over! I mean, for us it’s over: for some people in the press there’s plenty of reasons to keep the story alive but for us, this is done. Wenger has stated that we will deal with it internally and the FA is taking no action. Good. I’m going to do my best to forget about it until some Chelsea supporter brings it up again during an FA Cup final or something. You know, he’ll start whining about how poor, precious, fair, Chelsea is being treated unfairly because since they got caught and punished for 1% of their constant infractions Arsenal should be punished for their one infraction. I’m putting this incident behind me until that happens.

There’s precious little going on in Arsenal news this morning and honestly that’s a good thing. Tomorrow we’ve got an FA Cup match between Arsenal and NewcastleOMGKEEGANISBACK. Arsenal’s squad news says that Senderos and Clichy are fit and ready to go. Which is all well and fine, Clichy is great and Senderos is an improvement over Hoyte. But more importantly, Arsenal have Flamini back in the team. If you’ve read this blog more than once you know that I am of the opinion that more than any other player Flamini has been the glue that holds this team together this season. He agrees with me. It will be good to see him back in and providing cover for Cesc.

On the other side, I guess Newcastle is talking about bringing Barton back for this clash. No doubt he’ll get drunk and attack someone after the match. That said, during the match Flamini will outplay him in every way. I am confident.

That’s it as far as news. I will be watching tomorrow’s match at Doyle’s here in Tacoma. There’s a $10 cover charge mandated by Shitanta Sports. So, bring $10, be there at 7am, and let’s see the Arsenal through to the other side! Because if there’s a draw, then the replay will be held during the week of the Blackburn match, which is the match I’m traveling to London to see, which means that the Blackburn match would be rescheduled for that Saturday instead of a Monday night game, and that would require a change in travel plans and probably cost me money. So, it’ll probably be a draw. Sigh…

UPDATE: 11am 1/25/08

OMG

Spurs have a commemorative mug, tee-shirt, and DVD available for their semi-final victory over Arsenal. Arsene should buy one of those mugs and use it every day.  Fuck, I think I’m going to go to Tottenham and get one.  How lame is your club when you sell commemorative gear for a semi-final Carling Cup victory?

Cupsets galore!

Morning!

I know, it’s morning, what could possibly be so exciting? Well, we have football news! It looks like there were a ton of cupsets yesterday in the FA Cup replays: the biggest came when Newcastle beat Stoke 4-1 to earn a shock trip to Arsenal. I heard that newly crowned King Kevin Keegan (aka His Holiness Kev, aka The Messiah)  channeled the force of 50,000 rabidly drunk Toon supporters to will the ball into the goal 4 times.

Also overcoming tremendous odds was Havant and Waterlooville, a club that is only one division up from the L.A. Galaxy. They eviscerated Swansea 4-2 in order to earn a huge payday at Anfield. I think the only question left is “what rotation will Rafa use?”

So, onto the squad news: £6m for Sagna is looking like a hell of a deal, innit? Not only has he played well on the pitch. But he also has great hair. Oh yeah, and a great attitude. Which the Daily Mail compares unkindly to the stinking thinking of Diarra. For example, Sagna says:

Playing for Arsenal is fantastic. I try to do better game after game and I would like to thank everyone who has helped me adapt…I have always had a fighting spirit and wanted to play for a great team. Now I am playing for Arsenal and want to show what I can do.

See that Diarra? He wanted to fight for his place not just give up and cry about it. So many times in my life I’ve been given the opportunity to fight for something or walk away from something. And every time that I have chosen the latter I have ended up a poorer person. Diarra has now shown himself to be a quitter who prefers to lead with his words rather than his actions.

Oh, and by the way, Diarra, I don’t think they are going to put up with too much of your guff over at Pompey. Anyway, the deal is official and thank god, I was getting sick of hearing about him. I do expect at least one more story, probably about how Diarra think Arsene is a horrible person.

Looks like someone has a case of the Eboues

Not much team news this morning and when your team is on top I always say “no news is good news.” Lehmann is still deciding and there is no news about Diarra even though he didn’t play yesterday which Arseblogger points out is very strange indeed; maybe there’s a deal in the works, maybe he just pissed the boss off… I don’t know. No one seems to know.

The 4th round FA cup draw was held and Arsenal got the winner of the Stoke City/Newcastle tie. Let’s face it, as much as we’d all like to see Arsenal kick Fat Sam’s team of cunts off the pitch, it’s going to be Stoke. Newcastle is in serious turmoil and the daily denials about Sam getting the sack only exacerbate the problem. Additionally, they are missing Barton and Martins, arguably their two best players. Either way, it’s a great draw for Arsenal. In other FA Cup news, I’m really looking forward to whichever team Luton face — should be a cracker!

Ahead of Wednesday’s clash with Spurs, Wenger says he is fearless about using the youth team in the Carling Cup. I have to agree, given last season and this season’s performances, these kids are great. I think the only lesson they have left to learn is that the match lasts 90 minutes. It will be an exciting match and there will be plenty more on that over the next two days. I’ll be watching the Carling Cup match at Doyle’s on Wednesday — kickoff is at 11:45 am local time. A little bit of Arsenal America business as well, I think a bunch of us are going to meet up to watch the Birmingham match on the 12th. This will be at the George and Dragon in Seattle. Directions to the pub are on their web site. If anyone wants to carpool to Seattle send me a PM. Most of you already receive email updates from me so… erm, this is a second update!

Ok, now I’m going to get serious for a moment. I want to say just a word about Eboue and then this will be the last time I will be slagging off Eboue. Why? Because I am so often wrong about players. Sure, I was right about Flamini. But literally that is all I have ever been right about. Last season I hated Hleb, Wenger had faith, and now Hleb is, to be fair, a tremendous asset to the team. So, I just have some things I need to get off my chest and then that’s it, no more Eboue hate.

First off, the good: I remember back three years ago when Eboue got his chance. He took it and with force and vigor and was spine-tinglingly good at making runs down the right side. He was great in the tackle and all around a revelation at Right Back for Arsenal. His only niggling little problems were that he couldn’t seem to put in a decent cross when he got in the final 1/3 and he had a penchant for petulance.

The next season he was even better: he learned to cross and the assists started racking up — he had 6 in all competitions. And then you’ll all remember how he stood up to and matched Christiano Ronaldo pound for pound, step for step, and shut him down. I have never been prouder of the man than that match. The only thing left for him to work on was marking on set pieces and the way he would throw Dida-esque dives and fucking stupid ass shit like “slapping” Wayne Bridge in the Carling Cup final.

This season, however, has been a revelation as well — in how poorly a man can play and still keep his starting place. I can’t remember a match where he hasn’t either been stretchered off, only to bounce right back, or gone down and rolled around like he was permanently wounded, only to bounce right back. He’s also the first to get involved in a fracas and often an instigator. But worse than that, he’s seemingly lost the ability to put in a cross, while simultaneously caught Hleb’s disease of last year. You know, the one where you as the viewer see him receive the ball, square up to the defender, and then promptly telegraph to everyone on the pitch and everyone watching on television exactly where he’s going and where the defender needs to be to dispossess him.  Or, he simply passes the ball right into the feet of his defender, which is a joy to watch.  Arsenal build up play, stretch the defense, and Eboue turns the ball over.  Arsenal build up play, stretch the defense, and Eboue turns the ball over.  AHHHHRRRRGHHH!!!!  STOP DOING THAT!

That’s it. That’s my beef with him. He’s a cunty little cheat and he has to learn to be a winger. This is a steep learning curve. Maybe he can do it, maybe not. I don’t know. Obviously Wenger believes in him (to the detriment of Theo I would argue) and I believe in Wenger. So there you have it: I trust Arsene Wenger and he has a plan for Eboue. I’m going to step back and let that plan unfold. So, no more hating on Eboue, from me.

Ok, that’s about it, until tomorrow.

6am Burnley v. Arsenal

This is a very early match and I’ve promised a few people that I’d meet them at Doyle’s so this will be a very short blog. All that, and there’s no news. Here’s the BBC sport preview a match recap will follow at 8:30 am PST.

Up the Arse!

Update: an away win in the FA cup, that’s the important thing, right?  Eduardo is really picking up now with 6 goals in 4 starts and this was nothing less than you’d expect from him if you’ve seen his last 3 matches.  In the 9th minute the ball was played in by Toure, Dudu juggled it with his right knee, got pushed in the back, and regained enough composure to slot the ball into the left corner.  Sure, the keeper should have done better and come out to stop the play but I think last season Arsenal might not have scored that goal: which is exactly what Dudu was brought in to do… do.

After that there was a long stretch of mediocre play by Arsenal and a few decent chances by Burnley.  Arsenal did their level best to make Burnley look like a decent side.  During this spell there was some seriously deficient play down the right side and Eboue has to be goat of the game.  Unimaginative, unskilled, common, lackadaisical, what other adjectives can I use to describe the play of Eboue?  I mean he did it all!  Honestly, I think he probably completed less than 5% of his passes.  But that wouldn’t be unusal for him, no he took it a step further.  The moment of the match for him came when he was slotted in down the right side, managed to get around his marker, evaded a tackle, and then dribbled into two defenders instead of playing the ball anywhere.  Then!  THEN!  He started yelling at Eduardo.  He really is a cunt.

This was the same Eduardo who only moments earlier had played in an absolutely perfect ball to Bendtner who dribbled around the Burnley keeper and side footed the finish.  So naturally, he just shook his head derisively at Eboue.

If you’re looking for match video and want to see the two goals, I always recommend the Arsenalist.

There was some drama in the 60th minute when Lafferty got a straight red for a rash challenge on Gilberto.  In live action it looked like a two footed challenge and straight red.  In replay it wasn’t really that bad of a challenge but Lafferty did lunge, studs up, over the ball and the ref was right on top of it.  It may be a bit harsh from a Burnley perspective but it was a dangerous tackle and Burnley were rightly reduced to 10 men.  Not so that you’d notice it by the uninspired play that followed.

Lastly, Lehmann looked very shaky.  In fact, the whole defense looked shaky with him in goal.  He flapped at the ball early in the match and escaped with a bit of luck when a Burnley player headed a free ball into the crossbar.  Even worse than that no one wanted to play a ball back to him which led to a few sketchy moments at the back with players dribbling around rather than back passing and letting Jens clear the ball.  Clearly the squad is uncomfortable with him in goal.  Adios Jens, you nut.

That’s about it.  Just note of thanks to Mike, and his two friends Mike and Jesse for coming out at 6am to watch the match it was fun to watch a match with company rather than sitting here in my livingroom in the dark.

Till tomorrow!