Transfer Tuesday

David Villa, Worth More than Ronaldo?

It’s probably the most ridiculous release clause of any contract, ever:  David Villa’s £130m release clause would make him worth two Ronaldos. A goal poacher, worth two Ronaldos? A goal poacher, worth an entire Newcastle United?

Yeah. It’s funny to me how this cat gets so much cred.

Arsenal have a player who has proven himself time and again as probably the best goal poacher in the history of the game and yet, he get’s short shrift from some Arsenal fans. Eduardo has 14 goals in 24 international matches giving him a ratio of.583 goals per game, Villa has 25 in 43 for a ratio of .581. In league play, Villa’s ratio for Valencia is .666 while at Dinamo Zagreb, Eduardo pulled in .7474.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are lies, damn lies and statistics, whatever. Eduardo is better than Villa and you cannot convince me otherwise.

The good news about this story is that at £130m Villa is so far beyond Arsenal’s means that maybe people can stop linking him to us. It’s not going to happen, ok?

Dog Fight Over Adebayor

This is the kind of transfer speculation that I like to report! The Daily Mail is reporting that AC Milan are now competing with Inter Milan for the signature of Arsenal’s want-away striker, Emannuel Adebayor.

Let’s hope this turns into a 4 dog race with AC Milan, Inter, Chelsea, and Man City all fighting over the scraps.

OH MY GOD THIS IS STILL DRAGGING ON

Peter Hill-Wood stirred the tempest in a tea pot today, criticizing the shareholders who he felt were disrespectful to Arsene Wenger duiring last week’s shareholder’s meeting.

Frankly, some of the questions were quite disgraceful. There you have the most successful manager in our history and two or three of the shareholders made the most negative and somewhat hostile and sarcastic comments, which I think were completely out of order.

Would everyone please grow up? Some people are going to be jerks, they are usually the loudest people in the room. Ignore them. Most supporters are adults and while we might criticize the club and the manager in private we would be respectful in person. People who can’t be respectful in person? Not adults.

At the same time, you’re an adult too, you need to accept the criticism, answer it, and move on with your life. When we hear that “Wenger has £30m to spend on a single player if he wants” and then he signs Silvestre for half a million, there’s a huge disconnect.  If we think that our club is going to get a big name in and the boss re-assures us all summer that he’s looking at two “big” signings and specifies defense and midfield and then we get Silvestre, it makes us wonder what the hell just happened?

It would be like telling your wife, in front of all your friends, that you have £150k to spend on a new car for Christmas. You go on to explain that you’re thinking of getting a car that gets good mileage and has a strong record of reliability, and it’s fast and sexy. They would start thinking about maybe a BMW or at least an Acura and get all excited. Then come Christmas morning you show up with a used Suburban, that has a huge Man U sticker on the trunk: it gets terrible mileage, it’s got all kinds of reliability problems, and it only cost £500.

Your wife and friends would think you’re nuts.

Some people, real jerks, are going to be snarky and call Silvestre a used Suburban other people will ask

Arsene, you and the club categorically stated all summer that you had £30m to spend on two “big” signings and specifically targeted defense as an area that needed improvement. Yet, the only defensive signing was Silvestre. What can you tell the supporters about what happened in the summer with transfers that led to signing Silvestre.

The question is valid either way, and unfortunately, remains unanswered.

Youth Attack

Arsene Wenger has heaped praise upon the Arsenal youth team ahead of their FA Youth cup match against Liverpool, saying that several of the players could start featuring in the first team as soon as next year.

They will be like a new signing.

Meanwhile, Traore, who we know for sure is returning from his season long loan at Pompey, scored his first ever league goal last night. Yay.

Alonso Watch

I’ve made no bones about wanting Xavi Alonso at Arsenal, so you’ll have to indulge me in reporting that it’s looking less likely every day.  Real Madrid are mooting a £21m offer, via the press of course, which is £3m more than Arsenal reportedly refused to offer last year. I have to say that £21m seems a fair price after this season’s performance, even if it means that Arsenal have been priced out of the market.

Future England Number One Watch

Current England Number One, David ‘Insano’ James has thrown England into a “keeper krisis” by having surgery.

YES

This is the perfect opportunity for Manuel Almunia to step in and claim the spot for himself. Go for it Manny.

One Last Bolded Headline

See you tomorrow!

Women Drivers, Giant Skivers, and War chest Connivers

Badge kisser.

Back in August, during a meaningless Arsenal v. Real Madrid match, following on the heels of a summer of seemingly schizophrenic interviews by Arsenal’s then 30 goal scoring target man, Adebayor scored a meaningless goal and promptly ran over to the fans and kissed the badge. Of course, they booed him.

At the time, linked above, I wrote that Adebayor was acting like a jilted lover.  I really thought that the big fella just wanted to be loved. He didn’t get why Arsenal fans would boo him after last summer; in his mind he loved us, he was just doing what he needed to do to get an upgrade to his contract, and now that he’d bagged Beyonce he wanted us back. The thing he didn’t understand is that a lot of Arsenal fans would never forgive him for sleeping around.

And now, he gives an interview that in essence expresses how much he’s hurt that the fans that loved him no longer love him.

I bet it hurts.

I know a lot of people who supported Ade even after the summer debacle only to watch him slowly go downhill all season, put in lazy performances, and slowly erode any fanbase that he might have once had. Like the jilted lover, he just kept spiraling down, deeper into his shell, and became more and more listless. This in turn engendered more and more ire from the fans, and has culminated in the insane interview above.

Like I’ve said before, I was there when Ade scored his first ever home goal, back in March 2006 and so I’ve always felt a bit of a special connection to Adebayor. But if his relationship with Arsenal fans was complicated before, given the interview above, the season we just witnessed, and last summer’s transfer saga, he has managed to simplify that relationship and I doubt there are many left in his fan club.

I know he has one less in me.

Damn Women Drivers

There’s a bit of a bombshell over at The Mail where Martin Samuel interviewed Andrei Arshavin and he.. uh… said some stuff. No, I don’t mean his clear adoration of Barcelona. Nor do I mean his opinion that Arsenal need to buy two players, everyone says that. I mean his disgusting and Neanderthal views on women.

I would never give driving lessons to women. We need to build new roads for them. Why? Because you never know what to expect from a woman on the road. If you see a car behaving weirdly, swerving and doing strange things, before you see the driver you know it is a woman. It is always a woman.

I mean come on! Everyone knows that it’s not always a woman, it’s always a woman ON A CELL PHONE.

(I’m kidding, I love women… to do the dishes, to clean up my room… I’M KIDDING, I REALLY DO LOVE WOMEN.)

How much is in the war chest? As much as Arsene wants.

You will see a lot of stories about how much, or how little, money Arsenal have to spend this summer. I suggest you ignore them all, and just let Arsene handle it, because Arsenal have plenty of money, if they want to spend it. The stories about how Arsenal are skint are nothing more than a vain attempt to sell papers.

Ive been over this ground before but since it seems to come up in every thread I thought I might just remind everyone about the official Arsenal financial reports.  Read them for yourself, start with the 2008 report linked above and work your way back. You will see that Arsenal are basically a profit making machine, earning roughly £30m a year (AFTER tax) every year for the last three (since the new stadium). This annual profitability has left them with a £93m cash reserve.

Now, add in that the half-yearly financials that were released this spring, which showed a £24m pre-tax profit. And add in the fact that Arsenal made it to the semi-final of one of the most profitable Champions League campaigns ever, and the semi-final of the FA cup and I suspect that profits will break the £40m mark this year.

It’s astonishing really.

That money is the reason the board insisted that they don’t care if they miss the Champions League. That money is the reason that Usmanov’s bull about owners paying down the debt is a ruse.

Money is there, and after we sell Adebayor for £10m (that’s a joke, kids) there will be more than enough to buy some big, unheard-of, defender and another central midfielder.

So, can we put this tired story about Arsenal being skint to bed? And could someone please restart the Xavi Alonso to Arsenal rumor?  I like that story.

Fabregate Should Be Decided Soon

As I’ve said before, I’d be shocked if Fabregas doesn’t get a ban for his part in Phil Brown’s spittergate. After all, Cesc is a member of Al Queda and we can give those fellers no quarter or they will be spitting on our children’s corpses: IT WAS THAT BAD.

There’s also very little news: Adebayor is going to Chelsea (OH GOD PLEASE YES), ManU is ready to win the title IN OUR FACES, Xabi Alonso is the first of a long summer of “not signing for Arsenal” stories, some Argentinian kid is in North London for a trial at Arsenal — and funny enough, he thought he was getting a trial at Arsenal di Sarandi! And finally, there’s a board room showdown brewing! Arsenal’s largest, I mean biggest, I mean fattest shareholder is going to challenge the board to a debt off. He’s worried that the £17m we pay in interest (despite the fact that we have £30m+ in annual cash profits AFTER paying debt, taxes, and salaries, etc AND that we have over £100m in cash reserves) anyway, Usemanoff is worried that the £17m in interest we pay on our £300m debt is holding us back from being more like his favorite club; Manchester United. And so he wants to try to force the board into a one time debt pay down thingy/marketing ploy to make himself look like he’s trying to improve the squad.

I think that the more owners get involved in the management of the team, the worse the team gets. So, he should sit down, shut the fuck up, and let Arsene Wenger build his team.

Anyway, while we’re waiting for the FA to hand out a 100 match ban for Cesc Fabregas raping Phil Brown’s children with spit, I’d like to give you a sepcial treat; Phil Brown’s season in photographs.

They won the first division in order to get promotion into the Premier League

After beating Fulham 2-1 in the first game of the season.

Then Wigan beats them 5-0.

His crowning glory… a 2-1 win over Arsenal.

Followed by a 1-0 win over Tottenham and West Ham and suddenly Hull City are the toast of London Town.

Then Chelsea hand them a 3-0 beat down, followed by a 4-3 loss to United and things aren’t so rosy again.

… followed by a string of losses and draws to a mix of teams. The fall is on.

Then, a stroke of geenious, he sits his players down, in front of the crowd and proceeds to give them a lecture. On boxing day.

They lose this game 5-1.

Not much fun happens until the bust up with old Joe Kinnear, where both managers are sent off.

They lose

They lose

it rains

They lose…

Wenger shakes his hand… again.

Then, Cesc invades the pitch mid-game, kicks in three illegal goals, wearing an Al Queda “bomber” jacket, while spitting on Phil Brown’s dessicated corpse. The world is outraged. Arsenal are banned from playing football for 10 years.

Hull are crushed and go on a loser’s streak

And now, here we come to the last two games of the season and even two wins (against Bolton and United) might not save them from relegation.

Arsenal still might have a say in this as well, if they can eek out a win against Man U this Saturday it will force  Man U to rape the dessicated corpse of Phil Brown in order to win the title on the last day of the season.

That would almost certainly see them relegated.

(Updated to make more sense and remove one extra picture, who knew that preview was my friend?)

I’m off

The panel van is all packed and we’re just about ready to leave but I thought I’d stop by for a quick note because there was a pretty major announcement yesterday.

But first, let me say, Arseblog wrote a piece this morning that basically said it’s the manager’s job to “bring success” (code for trophies) to the club and that this “success” will only happen when we buy some “experienced” (code for old) player.

He’s wrong.

Well, sort of.  Success can be defined in many ways: for Derby last season success was achieved when they scored a goal.  For Arsenal, this year and every year for the next 10, success is not going into bankruptcy or (worse) being forced into a takeover by Alisher Usmanov.  Every single thing that the board and the management says and does indicates that they are running Arsenal like a business and will be very, very conservative when it comes to transfers in.  And so, I think we need to redefine success for ourselves away from the notion that Arsenal are perennial title/FA cup challengers and toward the notion that Arsenal are a frugal team and title challenges are icing on the cake.

Success could also be seen as being a member of a club that bucks the current system.  Arsenal don’t need to pay £80m every year to bring in big names like Kaka and Schevchenko and then slip up at the last minute of the final; we can do that on the cheap!

And further, why does everyone think Arsenal need experienced players?  Who’s more experienced than Fabregas, Toure, Clichy, Eboue, Almunia, Senderos, and van Persie?  They’ve all been to the Champions League final and have had years of experience in the EPL.  Throw in old man Gallas for some salt and a poor haircut and I honestly struggle to see what more experience the team needs.

So a shift in definitions, really a shift in perspective is needed. This team has the necessary components to win a title.  Unless… unless Cesc Fabregas gets injured.  But it looks like it would cost £80m to get a replacement for him anyway and I don’t see that happening.

Speaking of which, the Kaka to Chelsea for £80m story does add a bit of a wrinkle to the Adebayor to AC Milan story.  If Milan were to suddenly find themselves flush with £80m would they reconsider a bid for Adebayor at £25m+?  Maybe, but all signs right now are pointing toward Adebayor being in an Arsenal strip next season.

Which is another thing you should probably shift your perspective on.

Anyway, that’s it for today.  8 hours of driving HERE I COME.

It’s grain of salt time

Just yesterday I was talking to the driver at work (yes I have a real job) about football and reassured him that I felt, as I have said here countless times, that “Adebayor will be playing for Arsenal next year.”  And of course, pretty much right after that conversation AC Milan’s Galliani claims that they have received a letter from Arsenal asking them

Hey yo, whattup?  Hey, erm, remember that whole Adebayor thing?  Yeah, we were just joking about the whole £30m thing.  You know, trying to look hard in front of the press.  Are you still interested in him?

Or something like that.  The point is that Galliani is claiming that Arsenal sent him a letter asking AC Milan to come back to the bargaining table.  I don’t know how much bargaining you’ve done in your life, but in my experience this is typically a despiration move.  So, if this story is true, then Arsenal are in some kind of serious trouble with Adebayor.

IF

And if it’s true, it will almost certainly see Ade go for far less than the £30m that Arsenal have said they want because now Barcelona and AC Milan have the upper hand.  Instead of bidding against each other, they can under bid with the confidence that they know Arsenal need to sell.

IF

If it’s true, prepare yourself for a price closer to the £16-20m range.  A player that is so unsettled with the club that his team goes back to his suitors and asks them to return to the bargaining table puts the team in basically no bargaining position and Milan and Barca both know that.

But those are all a bunch of “ifs,” we don’t know what actually happened, what the reaction will be, or why the sudden change.

IF

If it’s true.

And just yesterday was such a beautiful day what with the start of the season and all… ah the life of a football fan, joy one minute, depression the next.

Searching for good news:

Yesterday the European Club Association voted down Sepp Blatter’s 6+5 idea.  Plus there’s an awsome picture in the article that makes Sepp look like a baby throwing a tantrum (because he is!)

There, that makes me feel better. I give ole Sepp a week to circle the wagons and re-emerge with some other plan and a new target.  It’ll be just as bad for football, just as nationalistic, and just as dumb as 6+5 but it will have some other name like “Sepp Blatter’s Amazing Panacea 5+6 Ointmen” and he’ll be selling it out of the back of an RV at your local summer fair.

Step right up folks!  Tired of your national team sucking?  Tired of all the foreigners (ESPECIALLY FRANCE DIDN’T YOU SAVE THEM FROM THE JERRIES???  TWICE???) on your sacred soil messing up your sacred game with their so called “beautiful football?”  Well then, come on down and get you some Sepp Blatter’s Amazing Panacea 5+6 Ointment!  It cures “Top four-itis,” “David Bentlyism,” “Arsenal Syndrome,” and is guaranteed to win England the World Cup!  It’s also good for acne, sore muscles, tiredness, and it’s a guaranteed hangover cure for too much Euro 2008.  (Apply directly to the forehead, guarantees made herein are not actual guarantees, your mileage may vary, side effects include: Birmingham FC, lump and crunch football, falling attendance, lack of Champions League trophies, malaise, and in extreme cases bankruptcy.)

And finally:

This will cheer some of you up and make some of you even more depressed.  I’m quitting.  Well, I’m quitting wordpress.com.  On August 1st, I’m moving to my own domain, 7amkickoff.com, and getting out from under the wordpress umbrella.  There will be a few changes to the site, but I just thought it would be nice to have a grown-up blog instead of the kiddie blog here on WordPress (no offense other Arsenal bloggers!)

If you know someone (or are someone) who wants to help contribute to the site, drop me a line at bostelle|gmail|com.

That’s all for today, see you later.

un jour heureux!

Finally…

After what seems like an ice age, the hundred years’ war, and the occupation of Iraq all rolled into one, Arsenal have gone back to training. Of course notable for their absence are Adebayor, Hleb, Nasri, Gallas, Fabregas, and well, a whole bunch of guys but the training got underway none-the-less.

It’s good to see the boys in red back, and even better to see our new no.14 smiling and buddying up with teammate Clichy. Ok, now I’m excited about the season. I’ve got a season kickoff party to plan, the annual mecca, lots of stuff, work work work!

Speaking of Hleb and Adebayor, they both made the columns since yesterday morning, albeit for two totally different reasons. Hleb, because he said some “very bad” things, and Ade because I ran across a rather comical article.

First, Hleb had this to say to the press yesterday

My view of how I should be playing didn’t coincide with the manager’s. I told him last season I wanted to leave and think he was quite upset about it. But ask him. It may turn out he’s happy to see me go.

If Wenger isn’t happy to see you go, I’ll be double happy for him! We’ll turn that frown right upside down!

All kidding aside, this isn’t really as shocking of a statement as the press folks are making it out to be. It was clear to everyone with eyes that Hleb didn’t like playing on the wing and that he was often unhappy on the pitch. Anyone with a brain could have guessed that Hleb spoke to the manager about playing him more centrally and anyone with a brain could see that that desire was in direct conflict with the fact that Arsenal have one of the best central attacking midfielders in the world already at that spot. There was no way that Hleb was going to usurp Fabregas in that role and that’s really what this all seems to be about because he follows up that statement with a “blast” at Fabregas

When we get scoring opportunities, Fábregas is much more selfish than me. Given a chance to shoot, he always goes for it – unlike me.

And much like his few shots on goal, this “blast” is ineffectual and raises nothing but guffaws from the opposition.

He’s actually saying that he feels that he’s a better player because HE PASSES UP ON OPPORTUNITIES TO SCORE. BWahahahah ahahaha hahaha. Dude. We already knew that about you and it’s the quality that we (and I speak for all Arsenal fans) HATE about you. What the hell is wrong with you, you moron?

Of course this could all be lies and mistranslation, it is a story broken by The Sun, but still you have to have a laugh at the idea that Hleb fancies himself the better teammate because he passed up on open looks. He might even have an argument is Cesc wasn’t the team’s leading assist man and is widely praised for adding goals to his bag of tricks. Too funny.

Second, there’s the ongoing saga of the “Adebayor non-transfer” and it’s looking like Milan are out of the race for his signature… again. Yawn. In “real” news I did run across an inadvertently funny article in the Telegraph that mentions Adebayor. The paper took 4 “experts” and asked them their views of the top 5 EPL transfer targets (Barry, Ade, Ronadinho, Ronaldo, and Lampard). Typically this wouldn’t be a cause for reprinting here in the blog but I ran across this quote and thought it was funny

Fan’s view: Another who’s been linked with Chelsea, as well as Milan and Barca. I hope we miss out on him. I get the impression he’s a guy who believes he’s bigger than the club. He also has a discipline problem, as many Arsenal players tend to have.

Wh wh what? Many Arsenal players have a discipline problem? I was confused, so I looked at who the fan was, giving their all important view on this topic.

The fan: Trizia Fiorellino is the chairwoman of the Chelsea Supporters’ Group.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH BNEHAYEHHEHEHAH (choke) hah aha hah (gasp) (cough). Ahem. Excuse me. Uhh, yes, it’s the Arsenal players with the discipline problems. Let’s see, what objective measures would we like to use to measure the relative discipline problems of the two teams. I know, how about the Fair play table? Oh looky, there’s Arsenal in 4th place and there’s Chelsea in 19th place. Or how about the whole Ashley Cole incident with the ref? Or, let’s compare off the field adventures… That woman is seriously demented. Good for a laugh, but seriously demented.

That’s really it for today, there’s some press about a few players that are not signing for Arsenal, a story about Arshavin being valued at £400 billion or some such nonsense but I’m going to leave you on that high note; how much you want to bet there’s a signing this week?

Update: See, the whole Hleb thing was a lie manufactured by The Sun.  You gotta love them though for trying and for providing us with some brief comedy.

Happy 4th of July

It’s a big day here in the Pacific Northwest as Tacoma reprises its role as host to the traveling wooden-ship sideshow known as “Tall Ships.“  This means the normal 4th of July waterfront celebration/annual drunken riot is going to be brewing all day instead of kicking off late at night.  Add in the fact that it’s a Friday, that fireworks are now illegal, and we’re slated for a crummy cloud covered sky thus dampening the grand finale fireworks show and this should be the best 4th of July ever.

Mirroring our dour local celebrations, Arsenal are letting off some wet firecrackers of their own in the signings realm. “The Nasri Signing” isn’t going to happen for at least 10 days, the Senna signing is right out, Hleb has become persona non press report due to the long shadow cast by Andre Arshavin, and Adebayor is mulling his future so there’s no news there either.

I have no idea what makes Adebayor think he has any control over his future: last I heard, he’s still under contract with the club.   He can complain and maybe even not give his best when selected to start (which would hurt both him and the club) but he signed a contract, there isn’t much deciding he gets to do.  Arsenal, on the other hand, are the ones who get to decide; should they sell him now for £24-30m or hold on to him for another year and sell him on for more!  I think they ought to keep him.  Arsenal reportedly only paid Monaco £4.2m for him 18 months ago.  Now, if Barcelona legitimately offer £30m for the player, that’s an annualized rate of return of 225% and a total return of 615%.  A return of 225% per year on any investment is quite impressive and, according to my calculations, means that next year he’ll be worth £67.5m! I say Arsenal hang on to him for another year and then sell him for £67.5m which would be a total return of 1,507%.  Not a bad bit of work.

In real news, Ljungberg is featuring at the number 11 slot today in Arsenal’s all time top 50.  I loved Freddie; his tuft of red hair, the goals in the FA cup (especially the finals), his constant movement, and the way he defended from the front made him a crowd favorite.   He was one of the players that really made me love The Arsenal and it was a nice trip down memory lane to read his Arsenalography.   Check it out if you’re bored, or just jonesing for football.

You know what else you should do if you’re bored?  Watch all 10 installments of these “Bad Boys” videos.

Bad Boys International

And just plain Bad Boys (Britain)

I found them vastly entertaining and a refreshing reminder of what English football used to be like.  Thank god those days are over.

See you tomorrow.

He’s baaaaaack!

I love it.

The Adebayor story is back on the front page of every paper and we now have more “facts” at our disposal.

Fact 1: according to AC Milan vice president Adriano Galliani, Arsenal are telling rival clubs that Adebayor is only for sale at the staggering price of €45 million (£35.6 million).  Galliani then whines about how Milan cannot afford those prices.  Boo hoo.  He then says “while I once said that I ‘only have eyes for Adebayor’ I am now kind of staring at Ronaldinho.  It’s hard not to stare because he’s so fat.  What happened to him over the last few months?  Did he discover the chip butty? Anyway, that’s all us poor Italians can afford, fat, washed up, broken players, I really wish FIFA and UEFA would do something about this problem.”

Fact 2: Arsenal have offered Adebayor a new contract worth a reported £45,000/wk.  He isn’t signing it right now, preferring to wait and see what happens with the whole transfer/wage increase saga.

Fact 3: Arsenal rejected a £25m offer from Barcelona.  Barcelona are now preparing a £30m-ish bid for the Arsenal striker, supposedly.

Fact 4: I had it wrong, Vincenzo Morabito Super Agent is NOT Adebayor’s agent, Ade’s agent is Stephane Courbis and he is seriously nuts:

It is vital that Arsenal show their motivation (£££) to keep him.  There has been a love story between Adebayor and Arsenal and his relationship with Arsène Wenger is based on trust and respect. Emmanuel is a man of heart, not of money. (???) He is not greedy. He is a kid from the street, has sensibilities and is humble. (???) If this was a money problem, then he would have asked to leave (which he did), I know that Arsenal’s political position is that they don’t pay high salaries. Whatever they decide, the decision will be taken with respect. (???)

That’s simple then, since it’s not about the money, since Adebayor is in love with Arsenal, and since Adebayor is humble, he’ll just go ahead and sign Arsenal’s £45,000/wk offer that’s on the table.  But if he doesn’t I’m sure his humility, love, and respect for Arsenal will force him to just go ahead and play out the rest of his contract without any complaints about salary or transfers to other “dream” clubs like Barcelona.

Fact 5: Like I said, Barca are reportedly putting together a £30m-ish offer for Adebayor which means that both Arsenal and other teams (like Barcelona) rate the player very highly.  I don’t know how the Hater-Ade’s (get it? HAR!) feel about the fact that professional football managers at the very highest level (like Arsenal and Barcelona) rate Adebayor so highly.  Likely they either ignore it or think “Barcelona is crazy!”

Those are the facts as we know them right now: 7am PDT, July 2nd 2008.  Those facts may change without notice in which case I will write about them.

If Arsenal receive 1 pence over £30m, I say they should do the deal.  At that price Arsenal could buy 4-5 people you’ve never heard of, raise their price, and sell them on for a huge profit.

Speaking of dudes you’ve never heard of: Amaury Bischoff has been released by Werder Bremen and this supposedly means that he’ll be coming to Arsenal.  What do we know about Amaury?  He’s “highly rated,” he’s Portuguese, he played for the Portuguese U21 team, he’s been injured for most of his career at Bremen, and he claims he’s coming to Arsenal to play in the reserves.

In squad news, Eduardo’s early comeback is garnering some press with pretty much everyone saying that he will be able to participate in training camp and may even be ready for the start of the season.  I sincerely hope the young man recovers fully from Martin Taylor’s vicious attack.

Clichy week is in full swing and Arsenal have released a statistical look back at the Left Back’s amazing season.  You all know how much I love statistics, so check it out.

Also on the Dot Com is a podcast of the Gunner’s Greatest Players no. 50 through 21.  I like listening to the Arsenal old timers talk about their fellow professionals even if the official Arsenal podcasts are often of shockingly poor quality.  Hey!  They should call me, I’d love to produce those segments.  I couldn’t possibly do any worse.

Maybe I should call SATAN Kroenke, my fellow American, and ask for a spot on the Dot Com.  He’ll have more pull with the club as soon as he’s on the board.  Oh yeah, Stan’s not looking to takeover Arsenal, so go ahead and relax English fans.  My favorite part of that article is the 720 degree turn around that Peter Hill-Wood has taken on Kroenke.  He’s gone from “we don’t need his sort” to:

He is quiet, not ostentatious He could be a very good ally and colleague. There is some logic in him getting close to us. He is a sensible man who is a sportsperson and has got some expertise in his business and that has helped him to develop a fanbase there [in Colorado]

And finally, Joey Barton is reportedly being courted by Bolton.  I was thinking about Joey Barton and his many, many, many transgressions and I wondered “how long would Arsenal keep a man like that on their payroll?  Hell, how long would any of the top 4 clubs keep him on their payroll?”  Then I realized, that’s what separates top clubs from bottom feeders like Bolton: common sense.

I’ll leave it on that note, see you all tomorrow.

Bye Buy Adebayor

I had a great day yesterday.  I had some friends over, we cooked up a mess of chicken on the grill,  and we sat in the living room with the fan on watching television and trying to escape an oppressive Washington heatwave.  After the morning blog(s) I didn’t turn the computer on all day.  A day of sweet bliss away from the news stories, the football sagas, the constant work emails.  Ahhhh…

So, I woke up this morning, ready to do my preview of the Euro 2008 final and have a bit of a kick around myself, and I found that Emmanuel Adebayor was all over my computer.  Like a case of herpes, I keep putting him down, only to have him pop up again at the most inopportune times.  It’s official: Arsenal have Adebayor Simplex 2 and I think it’s a terminal case.

Yesterday, Adebayor gave yet another interview — this one an exclusive to the second least trustworthy news source on the planet News of the World — in which he contradicted himself and/or his agent for the third time in the span of two days.  Friday: “I’m staying at Arsenal, you will see me in an Arsenal shirt next season, oh yeah, I don’t play football for the money.”  One hour later: “I have to meet with Arsene Wenger and sort a few things out but I love Arsenal and love playing with this group of guys, and there’s more to life than money!” Yesterday: “Did I mention that I’m as good as Thierry Henry and that I deserve to be paid £120,000 a week and oh yeah, I want to go to Barcelona?  Umm, yeah, all that stuff, plus I have to think of my retirement and stuff.  Money money money, I’m worth it!  Money.”

In the interest of full disclosure, I want to reiterate that I have supported Adebayor in the face of a great deal of fan opposition and so I am biased here.  As I mowed the lawn yesterday I was listening to the the official Arsenal O2 podcast and they reminded me that not only does Ade add the aerial threat to the team that they lacked for so long but the way he makes runs and his ability to hold the ball up for his teammates creates space for the midfielders, like Hleb and Cesc, to work their magic.   There are a lot of fans who think “sell him and we can get David Villa (or Santa Cruz, etc etc.), it doesn’t matter who we have up front!”  Those fans are very wrong.  It does matter, having Adebayor on the team matters.

I also sympathize deeply with a man who came from some of the deepest poverty in Africa.  The temptation of a huge contract in the face of a career that might last 10 years would be overwhelming for even a man raised in wealth and luxury.  It must be even more difficult for a man for who stated that if he hadn’t had a career in football he’d have had a career as a gangster.  £6m a year means that he, his family, and probably all of his extended family will have to want for nothing ever again.  Frankly, giving all of these contradictory interviews has convinced me that he is acting like a man torn by his love for football and Arsenal and a sort of primal desire to never want again.  So, for all the people calling him greedy, walk a mile in the shoes of his childhood: they were dilapidated, the roads were sand, and all around he was surrounded by death and destruction.  Now tell me that you wouldn’t be tempted by an offer from Barcelona?  Liar.

So that we’re clear, I’m biased in favor of Adebayor.  I know that I’ll be accused of pandering to him with the above sympathetic plea so let me get this out of the way:  I like him but I don’t think he’s a Theirry Henry type of player.  He’s damn close, but not quite there.  His stats are spot on (for one season); the number of goals, the goals per shot ratio, etc. all match the greats like Henry and Wright.  The main difference is that players like Henry have the unique ability to put a struggling team on their back and carry them.  Henry did it most famously at the Bernabeau during Arsenal’s Champions League runners up campaign, or that time against Spurs, or… you get the point.  Walcott has already shown sparks of that type of greatness such as with the run against Liverpool this year but Adebayor doesn’t really do that type of thing;  he’s a great role player but we all know that it’s Fabregas who is shaping up to be this “sparkle” player at Arsenal.

Adebayor is no Thierry Henry so why then does he feel like he deserves Henry type money?  The sudden reversal of Friday and Saturday have his agent’s fingerprints all over it.  One day you say that you don’t play football for the money and the next you think you deserve to be paid the same as an Arsenal legend while claiming to have a substantial offer from Barcelona?  That smacks of the player telling us his true feelings and then his agent taking him aside and saying “oh, erm, Ade, Barcelona just called and they say that they want to pay you £100,000 a week, maybe you should soften your statements a bit, whattya think?”

The worst pat of all this is that I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up with nothing at the end of his career like Eric Djemba-Djemba.  His agent, Barcelona, and everyone who stands to gain here are taking advantage of this guy’s weaknesses.  They are playing on his childhood poverty to engineer a move to anywhere that will garner them a fat kickback.  Once you let leeches like this into your life, they will drain you and you won’t even notice it until one day you’re playing football in Qatar for peanuts.

I have a bad feeling that Adebayor’s story will end the same way.

For now, I have to wonder how this is going to play out over the next few days.  Arsenal replied to Adebayor’s Friday conference with a strong stance and Wenger publicly stated:

He (Adebayor) is under contract. That’s quite simple. I’m not worried. I can tell you as manager of Arsenal Football Club I am not worried.

Asked if he needed to meet with the player to clarify Adebayor’s ambitions he said

No. I met him already, on Friday before his press conference

So, he met with him before the conference in which Adebayor promised his future to the club.  Wenger must have been reassured by the player at that meeting, because as we know Wenger doesn’t try to keep players who don’t want to leave.  Arsene also made a bold statement about making bold statements, when he challenged United to stay strong in the Ronaldo case

United have been strong and I give them credit for that, but maybe they know as well that the desire to leave doesn’t really come from the player. It could be from another environment, from a club that’s tapped him up. It is not right and there comes a point where someone has to make a stand

Someone has to take a stand?  Is it going to be Arsenal?  No. The chances of that are pretty much gone as of yesterday, because Arsenal’s Togo International then switched his story and he gave a definitive answer to Arsenal in an interview to News of the World (linked above) in which he dropped the Barcelona bomb.

Barcelona have made a good financial offer and there is also the chance to play alongside great players. Yes, I am still under contract to Arsenal but it’s up to the directors to satisfy my demands or I’ll leave.

And there you have it.  He wants to stay but Arsenal aren’t going to pay him the money that his agent has convinced him he’s worth.  I’m alarmed that he’s publicly admitting that Barcelona have illegally negotiated a contract with a player who Arsenal have repeatedly stated is not for sale.  He’s either tremendously stupid or tremendously confident that what’s happened isn’t illegal.  I’m also saddened that he both lied to Wenger on Friday and that he’s now threatening Arsenal.

Threats, cheating, lying… that’s the fast track to end a career of someone who could have been an Arsenal great.  Instead of being written into the Arsenal history books, if he leaves, he’ll go down as yet another player that left the club on bad terms.  His great goals will fade and people will remember him as just another Anelka, Cole, Campbell, or that other guy who I used to like but he bogged back off to Spain because he didn’t like the weather.  I forget his name.

Ok, that’s enough

Ok, there, you meathead, you had your, ehh, fun there: you’re staying, you’re going, you’re staying, you’re going.  You’re as mixed up as one of them there Gay Republicans.  Chose one there, Adebayor, Arsenal or Milan.  You can’t be both.

(Ed’s note: Today’s guest columnist is the notoriously “politically incorrect” character Archie Bunker from the famous 70s television show “All In the Family.”  7am kickoff in no way condones the idea that gay people can’t be republicans or vice-versa.  Also, 7am kickoff is tired of reporting on Adebayor, because the situation has become, well… retarded. It’s time to move on, until and when something actually happens.  Like an actual signing, or an actual trade, or SOMETHING ANYTHING GOD PLEASE…)