Newcastle v. Arsenal; liveblogging the best day ever?

Good morning and welcome to what could possibly be the best day ever. First, Chelsea are getting beaten 1-0 by Tottenham and second, and much more importantly, Man Unit had their asses handed to them 2-0 by Fulham. PLUS! Wayne Looney got sent off for something, which is a miracle, and I’m praying to the Gods that it’s for dissent.

I can’t wait to read the match report.

Lest you think that I’m purely negative, I’m also happy that Pompey got a win.

Now, if Arsenal gets a 6-0 win it will be a great day!  Back in a few minutes with the lineup.

Diaby and Denilson start in the middle and Arshavin and van Persie start up front. That means a 4-4-2 and Denilson/Diaby need a huge game: knock on wood!

Almunia

Sagna    Toure    Gallas    Clichy

Bendtner    Diaby    Denilson    Nasri

Arshavin

van Persie

Just a few seconds now ’till kickoff and news reports are indicating that Looney was sent off for dissent.

What’s Newcastle’s mascot? Is it supposed to be a magpie? Because it looks like a skunk. Oh, I bet I know what’s happening with Google Reader and my feed. It’s George W. Bush’s whacky time change! I just noticed that WordPress thinks it’s 9:33 am when here in America it’s 10:33 am, by King George’s decree! So, expect your feeds will be all f*cked up for the next few weeks, until time gets sorted.

Kickoff…

4′ – nothing happening, except Bendtner is doing his best Adebayor impersonation by getting caught offside a couple of times already.

6′ – Newcastle gets a corner when one of their players shoves Toure down from behind. Then Almunia does nothing in the box despite the ball coming in to the 6 yard box. Why have a keeper if he’s just going to stand there and watch?

9′ – Galas whiffs a wide open header. Damn.

13′ – Steven Taylor intentionally stands on Arshavin’s foot and kicks him in the back of the leg. No foul called. That’s the kind of cheap shiat that I hate, I hope Steven Taylor suffers a career ending injury at the hands of one of his teammates.

18′ – Duff with a terrible dive. Come on ref, get out the cards.

23′ – FUCK YOU CUNTS

25′ – How the hell did the ref give Newcuntsle a penalty? Can someone please enlighten me as to how that was a foul much less a penalty? Arshavin with a great little move and shot, luckily saved by Steven Cunt.

30′ – Steven Cunt looks up sees Arshavin going for the ball and elbows him intentionally in the face. That should have been a straight red. At least the ref saw a foul this time.

35′ – Arshavin dribbles through a barrage of Steven Cunt “tackles” and shirt pulling to rifle in a tremendous shot. That’s one way to answer them, get a good goal. Damien Cunt with a foul on Sagna.

40′ – Arsenal need to tighten up in defense, Newcastle, a team that is a quivering wreck of a team, is picking out angles and passes and looking like they are going to score. I mean, we’re letting Damien Duff overrun us.

44′ – Lucky save by Harper van Persie with a great run and shot — and as I’m typing that he makes another HUGE save. Come on you REDS!

Damn. Tough first half. Arsenal look out of sorts, they look like they are passing to ghosts right now. Maybe Arsene will get out the half-time hair dryer?

WOW… I just saw why Looney got sent off. He threw the ball at the ref from like 50 yards away, then screamed and threw a tantrum as he walked to the shower. 10 match ban?

52′ – Sorry bout that, had to hold my daughter for a minute. Gallas earns the first yellow of the match. Well, in Cappy.

56′ — yes, Los, Diaby is having a poor game. The whole team’s having a poor game.

59′ – Oh for fuck’s sake… After Bendtner puts in a brilliant header, the defense falls asleep and Obafemi Cunt puts in an easy goal. 1-1 and I’m back to anger.

62′ – Steven Cunt is limping off! PLEASE IF THERE ARE GODS MAKE IT CAREER ENDING!

64′ – YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Diaby follows Bendtner in the “just do one thing right” category and scores a superb goal through some good interplay between he and van Persie.

67′ – YEEEEESSSSSSSSS! van Persie plays another great ball in, this time to Nasri who gets his first goal since January.

69′ – Who wants to put money on Denilson getting a goal?

71′ – Harper has van Persie’s number as he makes another good save off the Arsenal forward.

75′ – Song comes on for Arshavin who’s now been properly introduced to English Football.

83′ – Arsenal have killed this game off and maybe even killed off Newcastle’s hopes of staying above the drop. I used to have respect for this team, that’s lost now that they’ve put out a team of straight thugs.

87′ – Two Goal Eboue is coming on, I wonder what dance he has in store for us today?

92′ – The Newcastle announcer has given man of the match to Steven Taylor. OK, I now officially am hoping this club gets relegated.

Whelp, the right team won and that’s all that matters. Thanks for tuning in today and come back tomorrow for The Good, Bad, and Ugly.

Arsenal face Villareal then Porto in Champions League

What got into you nut bars yesterday? The comments section was full of insanity. This is a sane, sober, and rational weblog and I expect you all will act accordingly. Now, stop stealing each others’ passwords and posting drivel.

Please use your real name to post drivel, like the jealous guy from that one blog.

Right, on to the news. Lesseee… uhh… did you guys hear about the Champions League draw yet? Some guy fondled a bowl full of balls and made a pretty awesome draw, I think.

First, Arsenal have the return leg advantage all the way to the final, meaning that a single away goal in the first leg of both matches makes their job super easy when they return to the Emirates for the second leg.

Second, in the next round they got matched with Villreal, the 4th place team in la Liga, who’s key players are a 62 year old future MLS star named Robert Pires and former Arsenal whipping boy and YouTube star Pascal Cygan.

Third, Porto is going to do the hard work and knock Manchest Untied out of the competition and Arsenal are going to face Porto in the semi-finals which will be a chance for Arsenal to get revenge over the last team to beat Arsenal (Roma doesn’t count).

Fourth, Liverpool drew Chelsea and Barcelona drew Bear Munching and that means that Liverpool and Chelsea will beat each other to death clearing the way for Barcelona to sweep their group and setting up a finale between Arsenal and Barcelona where we will get revenge over Thierry Henry for leaving us!

Awesome draw if you look at it that way, huh?

I don’t care what the bookies are saying (blah blah blah United) or what the Man Unit fans are saying (ZOMG WE WILL BHEAT THE WORLD OFF!!!) I’m going to enjoy my fantasy finale.

Hmmmm… 2-1 over Barcelona, Henry scores an own goal, E’to’o’ gains another apostrophe, and sad Barcelona fans start talking about buying up 3/4 of the Arsenal squad…

What else is going on?

Oh yeah, Arsenal are playing Newcastle tomorrow and I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Joey Barton will not be fit to take the pitch. The bad news is that Steven Taylor is in the team and picking up hints from super-c*nts Kevin Nolan and Nicky Butt — who are also available.

What the hell kind of team is Newcastle putting together? Kevin Nolan, Joey Barton, Nikki Butts, AND Steven Taylor? On the same fucking team? Isn’t there a law against that? Who passes the ball? I mean, does anyone in that midfield pass or do they just tackle each other to move the ball around?

I’m kinda happy that Cesc isn’t fit, I’d much rather Denilson soak up the tackles than Fabregas. Speaking of, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised to see the 4-5-1 (or 4-2-3-1, whatever) with both Denilson and Song in along with Diaby in the midfield, those three have been showing a lot of steel lately and facing this pack of c*nthounds we’re going to need all the steel we can get.

After the Blackburn match, Arshavin made a remark about how they were the hardest tackling team he’d ever played against. He’s in for a surprise tomorrow because if he thought Blackburn are hard tackling, then Kevin Nolan, Steven Taylor, and Nikkiz Buttz are going to be like a gang of goats raping his family.

Or something.

Anyway, for our part, young Theo picked up an injury. This injury happened, not during training, but AFTER training, while WALKING. The dot com is saying that his knee locked up after the training session when he was walking back to the showers. Amazing. Damnit Wenger, why can’t you keep the boys healthy? Stop killing them by letting them walk back from training! They clearly need one of those motorized things that fat people in America go grocery shopping with.

Right, tomorrow’s match is live on Fox Soccer Channel at 10:30 am PST which means I’ll be liveblogging, so stop by if you want to hear me rant and rave about fat Americans and Kevin Nolan in real time.

Oh hey, one last bit of good news: Eduardo is being included in the squad! I see a late sub, Arsenal down 1-0, Eduardo comes on and scores a brace.

See you tomorrow!

P.S. Antipodean Gooner has a piece about how Arsenal’s fiscal world is falling apart and you should all check it out. The jist is that Arsenal Trust issued a report on the Arsenal financial report and it’s a refreshingly honest look at where all our money is going.   I thought I’d just let you all know.

An open letter to Phil Brown

Dear Phil,

Good morning, how are you feeling today? Better than yesterday? Still hungover? I ask because I can only imagine that it was drink that fueled yesterday’s incredible BBC 5 Live interview in which you quite clearly accused Cesc Fabregas of poor dress and Mike Riley of intentionally throwing the Arsenal match.

I just want to take a few minutes and respond to each of the accusations that you leveled against Arsenal in that 7 minute interview. Do you have time for that, my Darling?

Good.

First, let’s talk about your most factually based accusation: Cesc Fabregas was in fact “dressing in the manner he was dressed.” Here’s a picture to prove it:

What a gross outfit! It totally is unflattering to his body type. What is up with the cuffs on that jacket? They make the puffy jacket look more puffy and the cuff on the bottom of the jacket makes it look like he’s smuggling a ham in the mid section there. If I weighed 11 stones I’d wear things that showed off my body a little more, rather than something that makes me look like I have a keg under my shirt. Good eye, Mr. Brown.

And while we’re on the topic of fashion do you mind if I point out that your spray tan is just a little too orange? What you want is a a healthy glow but not to make it look like you obviously tan. That’s difficult to do in a climate like England but it can be done, just cut back to like once every two weeks, rather than the daily treatments you seem to be taking. If you don’t slow down you’re going to start to glow in the dark, my Darling.

Now, another thing you mentioned in your interview there was how Arsene Wenger “never” shakes your hand

He wouldn’t shake my hand when we beat them fairly 2-1 at the Emirates. He wouldn’t shake my hand when they beat us, fairly, 3-1 at the KC Stadium.

The problem I’m having here, Philly, is that we have photographs proving that Wenger did, in fact, shake your hand after both of those matches. Is there an alternate definition of “shake” or “hand” that I’m missing?

Now, to the “spitting” incident, the meat of the matter at hand. Cesc has denied the allegations, categorically, and you have no witnesses as you admitted to Victoria Derbyshire in the interview above. I mean, I know that you tried to redirect that conversation with the whole “are you calling me a liar” tactic but everyone listening knows that just means you actually don’t have any evidence. Do you have any evidence that Cesc spat on anyone, near anyone, or toward anyone or do we all have to take your word for it?  Because, I’m just saying that your word isn’t too good right now.

As for Gallas’ “offside” goal, remember that Hull City might not have even been playing Arsenal had it not been for a controversial decision that went against Sheffield United back in February. I didn’t hear you complaining about the officiating when you got the benefit of what Sheffield supporters think was a poor decision to rule Naughton’s header an own goal. That’s how this stuff works, Phillie, sometimes a decision goes your way, sometimes it goes our way and when the final whistle goes we all have to be man enough to say “well, crap” and get on with our lives. Not go whingeing to the press about how poorly dressed Cesc was (which is true) or how he slathered Horton Hears a Who with a gallon of Catalan Saliva (not true).

And finally, no, you didn’t “get up our noses” — your team scored a lucky, deflected goal and then attempted to play anti-football for 77 minutes. Arsenal bettered your goal for the better part of those 77 minutes, resulting in some 70% of possession and the best chances of score by leaps and bounds. Arsenal deserved that win and everyone knows it.

I know you claim to have your coaching medals and if that’s true you would know that time wasting is a bookable offense because it’s cheating. Now, if you’re going to cheat and break the rules you have to be crafty about it. See, the problem is that your team doesn’t have the required craft of a team like Blackburn in order to pull off the whole anti-football thing and not pick up a host of bookings. So, Mike Riley was 100% correct to book 5 of your players, your team showed an indiscipline in it’s cheating that I haven’t seen since Arsenal last played Chelsea. Don’t blame Riley for the things he did right when there’s so much he did wrong in that game!

Anyway, Phil, I really hope you feel better today. You’re going to need all your strength to answer the charges that the FA are likely to bring against you for calling Mike Riley a cheat, for lying about Cesc spitting, and now it’s being reported that your assistant, Horton Hears a Who, called Cesc an “arrogant Spanish ____” and by ____ I don’t think he said “International.”

So, instead of getting Arsenal charged with stuff, it looks like you might get a charge or three yourself. That would add insult to injury wouldn’t it? My Darling?

Cheers,

Tim

Arsenal 2-1 Hull; there must have been a second spitter

Holy Christ what shit storm have I awoken to? Cesc is accused of spitting, Phil Brown is spitting dummies, Arsene is spitting mad and not shaking hands… have you people all lost your minds?

Because instead of focusing on a well deserved 2-1 win over a pack of notloB bred, time-wasting, lucky-goal having, lying, cheats we’re now dredging up video of Cesc supposedly spitting on Ballack back when Cesc was 12 years old, or spending time reading about how Brown claims Wenger “never does” shake hands even though there is photographic evidence to the contrary, and most incredibly, an accusation that will literally make your mind boggle, is Phil Brown calling it a disgrace for Wenger to complain about time wasting when his pack of talentless hacks had started wasting time from the moment they scored the goal!

To recap: Phil Brown is a proven liar, a moaner of such epic proportions that he puts Fergie and Wenger to shame, and Arsenal still won the match 2-1. End of story.

Man of the Match

Unlike other matches, this is a bit tougher. I really liked Song’s poise in the game and feel like he has made tremendous strides in the last two weeks. He has added forward passing (he picked out a beautiful pass to a streaking Gibbs that made me remark to the local Arsenal supporters) to a reprotiore of good tackles and tracking back. He also seems to have gained pace and defensive awareness. I don’t know who’s handling this kid but whoever it is is doing a heck of a job.

Another obvious choice is van Persie, he scored the equalizer and I really liked his perseverence in the face of all the missed chances. There was a period there where I swore that Arsenal was going to have another one of those games — 100 shots, 0 goals.

Gibbs too was outstanding and is turning into quite a likeable replacement for Clichy at left back. He put in several crucial tackles and showed the requisite ability to get forward. I also really like his crosses, they seem to come in at better pace and with more accuracy than Clichy at the moment.

Honorable mention goes to Bendtner who still can’t score but at least he really, really tries. His perseverence in front of goal is directly responsible for the equalizer.

As good as those guys played, I have to give the award to Andrei Arshavin. He started slow and at first I thought it was a mistake to include him in the lineup as he looked to be suffering from the cut on his foot but as the game wore on he took over. He was the most creative player on the pitch and more than once threatened to score — the best of which was a volley that only needed a whisker less curve to go in the net. But it was the equalizer which made him MotM for me. Instead of taking the shot, he made the right decision and put the ball on van Persie’s chocolate leg with just the right pace for him to pass the ball into the net. Then he calmly gathered the team from their celebrations and reminded them that the game wasn’t over yet and spurred them on to victory.

Selfless leadership. Fuck it’s been a long time since Arsenal had some of that.

Match Video

If you need to see the ball played off the Hull keeper, go to The Arsenalist, of course

Conclusion

Before the match I read a great interview with Phil Brown where he was humble and talked about how when he was earning his badges they did a review of him and the reviewer mentioned that Brown’s training was down the line exactly the same as Wenger’s at Arsenal. Then the reviewer asked how many shots Hull did during training and Brown said 250 or so and the reviewer said Arsenal does made 60-70 and scores twice as many. In the interview he was being humble and said that that’s how much class Arsenal have and what the difference between the two teams really was all about.

What a shame he couldn’t keep that same humility after the match. Any good will he earned from that interview he burned by falsely accusing Arsenal of all kinds of crap after.

During the match I had some English guy near me complain about how Gallas was offside and how the linesman had bungled the whole match. I disagreed and he wanted to press the point, so I just grabbed the Arsenal crest on my shirt and showed it to him. I don’t care if the world thinks Gallas was offside (he wasn’t) I don’t care if the world thinks what’s his cunt was onside (he wasn’t) I support Arsenal and after all the shiat we’ve been through in the last few years a little good luck was well deserved.

In conclusion, f*ck Hull and f*ck all the detractors, bring on Chelsea.

We’ll have Ade and Spitting Mad Fabregas back, probably Eduardo too, if the Hull match was a cracker, Chelsea will be a test of these boy’s manhood.

After this week?

I’m putting my money on Red.

Arsenal v. Hull; the FA Cup semi-final and revenge await

As usual Wenger’s playing the starting lineup close to his chest; only giving out little bits and bobs of who will be included today. From the article linked above, we can see that Fabianski and Gibbs (who have featured in the FA Cup) are the only two who are certainly being included in the starting XI. From there on out it’s a matter of fitness, rotation, and tactics that will decide the squad.

For fitness, the boss spoke of Arshavin’s desire to get on the pitch despite suffering a gash from a Ooijer tackle (link possibly NSFW) that required 8 stitches on Saturday. The Fonz spoke openly about the events of Saturday saying of the wound

It’s like a knife cut – not very deep but quite painful. Ooijer tore my boot and the skin, too. At half-time, our doctor had to do a lot of work on my foot. So when I scored the second goal, I ran over to thank him for a job well done.

That explains why he was late coming out of the tunnel and his sort of tearful hug of the team doctor after he scored, I was wondering about that. Arsene wants to include him, Arshavin wants to play, but ultimately, he’s going to be a game-time decision.

Rambo, on the other hand, has been ruled out owing to the fact that he is “growing in stature” and needs a rest. I remember some talk from Arsene about Rambo’s lack of fitness when he came in to the squad and so I’m guessing the boss means that and not that Aaron has literally grown and needs rest. 17 year old’s sometimes do have growth spurts and they are very painful. Either way, he’s not even included in the team.

Robin van Persie hasn’t played since the 11th so I expect him to get the start, no sense leaving him to rot on the bench, but after that the Gods only know who Arsene will pick. He could play a 4-5-1 with RvP as the lone striker, Vela and Arshavin on the wings, Nasri in the middle (or switch Nasri and Arshavin) and the two-headed-hydra in central midfield. He could put Diaby in the middle, could start Djourou and rest Gallas, etc. etc. Wenger has a lot of choices today and that’s a good thing. If he rests those folks and starts Vela and Bendtner up front, that leaves him RvP and Theo Walcott coming off the bench.

Wait…

Squad depth?

Whoa.

For their part Hull and their manager have a great deal of belief coming in to this match:

Win this – and don’t forget we’ve already won at Arsenal this season – and we’re at Wembley playing Chelsea, win that we’re in the FA Cup final

…our performances were good, but results were hurting. The Cup run reminded us of how good we can be. It meant players were still bouncing, still coming into training looking forward to the sessions we were putting on. A smile on a player’s face is priceless to me. There’s no question that the FA Cup maintained spirit.

Hull will be up for this game and we should expect a spirited, attacking team who see the FA Cup as a light in the dark tunnel of Premier League survival. Buoyed by their surprise result at Emirates at the start of the season and their run of form to get them this far in the FA Cup this is by no means a walk in the park. Arsenal will need to closely mark danger men like Giovanni in open play, be prepared for Hull to mark them closely in return, and defend well from set pieces: three things we didn’t do well last time.

Hull will want to score early in order to take some pressure off so, look for them to come out hard in the first 5 minutes. This isn’t the same team that Hull shocked earlier in the season and I expect that this Arsenal team can handle that pressure — considering that they just got back from Rome and played a world class team in an unfriendly stadium, Hull, at Emirates, should be considerably easier.

So, for our part, Arsenal will look to soak up their pressure and hit them on the counter early.

What are the odds for van Persie to get a goal in the first 10 minutes?

Right, that’s it, I’ve been sick basically since I got back from London (two different colds I think) and finally got on antibiotics for this crud that settled in my chest. I am feeling a lot better and need to get in and put in a half day at work… which is perfect since kickoff is 12:45 PST.

The match is being shown live at Doyle’s so come on down and join us if you’re in town. It should be a cracker!

Oh yeah, happy St.EveryoneInAmericaIsIrishAndDrunk Day!

Luck of the Alsacian

A few weeks ago, during one of my fugue-rants I did say that if we found ourselves in 4th place we should consider ourselves lucky and that more than anything we did, it’s up to what Villa do (or don’t do) as to whether we regain our 4th place birthright. Well, Villa has done it and dropped points in a rather remarkable fashion, culminating in a 2-1 loss at home to Tottenham which saw their star player booed off the pitch by his home supporters.

I understand booing Eboue: he’s had massive swings in fan support. From the highs of his Champions League run at right back to his near disastrous replacement on the left wing against Wigan. Moreover, Arsenal were within a few matches of taking the League last season, so expectations are high for Arsenal supporters. Booing Eboue makes sense, he’s a highly divisive figure on a team with a great history who’s fan expect champagne at the end of every season.

But booing Agbonlahor? How does that makes sense? If it didn’t come at our expense, I’d be rooting for Villa to take 4th place. Villa is an old club, with a great history, who routinely filled their stadium despite their recent drought of trophies. Why on earth would you boo one of the best players on the team? You’re just shooting yourself in the foot with that.

Come to think of it, keep booing. Arsenal are only ahead on goal differential and we could use all the help we can get. Could you boo Ashley Young while you’re at it?

Another strange moment during that game came as the commentators were talking up Wilson Palacios (the player rater there is rather generous). Each time they went to fellate him for his “hard work” he would promptly do something really stupid and remind everyone why Arsenal passed on the player. Maybe it was a one-off but take Song and Eboue’s worst games, wrap them up in an energetic shell, and you’d have Wilson Palacios. He sure has a lot of energy, too bad he has so very little talent.

Let me put it this way: would you rather spend £14m on Palacios or Arshavin? Hmmmm….

In the injury room, Arsenal are now saying that Thomas Rosicky has had another setback. This means his next setback will not be announced for another two weeks. I’ve maintained for some time that Rosicky will not play for Arsenal ever again, I hope I’m wrong.

Looks like England International Almunia picked up an ankle injury from El-Hadji Diouf’s horrendous challenge. Of the challenge, Wenger is saying he “didn’t see it” and needs to look at the tapes. I can’t wait to hear what he has to say after he sees the tapes!

Up next for Arsenal in the league is Newcastle (A), Citeh, and Wigan (A). We mauled Newcastle early in the season and given their recent form we should be able to pick up three points there. Citeh was the last team to beat Arsenal in the league and I expect Arsenal will be looking for a modicum of revenge there. But then there’s Wigan at the JJB… those shiat kickers will probably hold 6 Rugby matches the day of the match in order to turn the field into something looking like the surface of the moon in order to improve their chances of getting a 0-0 draw: like they did last season to give a lift to Man U in the title race.

I don’t want to get too far ahead, up next (Tuesday 12:45 PST) Arsenal have to beat Hull in an FA Cup replay for the right to face a resurgent Chelsea.

More on that tomorrow. Until then, keep the faith!

Arsenal 4-0 Blackburn; Paradise Attained

Match Reports

ESPNSoccernet: Andrey Arshavin opened his Arsenal account as an attacking masterclass saw the Gunners to a handsome 4-0 victory over Blackburn in their Premier League clash at the Emirates.

Telegraph.co.uk: Andrei Arshavin the inspiration as Arsenal move up to fourth

Match Video

The Arsenalist always has match video, pop by and check them out. Make sure you click a sponsor!

Man of the Match

This one is easy and shouldn’t be too controversial: I’m giving MotM to Arshavin. I mean, all he managed was two goals and an assist. One of those goals was an early goal to boot.

I can’t stress the importance of early goals enough, especially against teams that play the Fat Sam style of football. If a team is there to harass and try to steal one on the break and you get an early goal, then that team has to go to plan B and try to attack. So, Arshavin’s early goal was the key to why Arsenal had such an open game against Blackburn yesterday and certainly helped furnish the 4-0 score line.

That said, I was really proud of the way he waved off the first goal. It was pure class to straight admit that he didn’t score the first. You can bet your ass that El Hadji Douche would have had a 4 hour celebration if his endeavor had led to a similar goal.

And the second goal… well, if Arshavin waving off the first was class, the second goal was pure class. Dummy the defender, dribble down the end line and shoot it straight at Paul Robinson, who collapsed into a heap as the ball sailed over his head and into the top of the net. All with stitches in his foot from a cut suffered in the first half, at the hands of some Blackburn foul, probably.

Goals have been coming for Andrei, you have to admit and it was a little glimpse of paradise to see him score the first two.

The Good

The midfield pairing of Song and Denilson were superb, again. It’s too early to hail them as the midfield of the future, but it is very nice to see them put in a string of performances like they have done over the last few games. Song was excellent in defense and would have had an assist had it not been for the serial wastefulness of Bendtner. Denilson, for his part, did end up with an assist (his 7th) and it was no less than he deserved for all his graft.

Who could have guessed that Eboue would come on as a late, defensive sub and would score two goals — one from a penalty? I certainly wouldn’t have. Hell, if you gave me 1000 predictions I wouldn’t pick The Pass Master to score from a penalty. Especially one that was won by someone else. Strange. But he did score a good goal after Arshavin’s shot caromed off the post and deserves credit for that.

Oh yeah, and Theo… he was electric wasn’t he? I can’t wait to have him get some games under his belt. His pace and width were crucial to Arsenal breaking Blackburn down and he was seriously unlucky not to have notched up an assist or two.

The Bad

I’m not going to pick on Bendtner. He played his heart out and was unlucky not to put in a couple of goals. That said, he had to feel miserable sitting on the bench and watching Eboue score a brace. I’m hoping it makes him double his efforts, that and a little speed training and he’ll be a hell of a  player.

The Ugly

On the one hand I wish that Eboue wouldn’t dance after scoring a goal (much less a penalty) on the other hand I wish that El-Hadji Douche would die in a fire. So, as you can see I’m a bit unsure of what I should write about.

I can’t understand how Diouf gets away with tackles like the one yesterday: it was studs up, late, intentional, and intended to hurt. This isn’t a Tiny Taylor situation where the argument could be made that he’s oafish and just not quite at the same level as Eduardo, plus, as they all said, he’s Taylor’s a nice guy.

No, El-Hadji Diouf is a cheating bastard who has a long record of dirty play that he’s somehow escaped censure for. Last year at Liverpool, he pulled a similar stunt on Arbeloa and similarly was given only a caution. I remember at the time, former refs and pundits alike were calling for retroactive action against people who commit fouls like yesterday’s.

I don’t care whether it’s rugby style post match reviews or if it’s more of an instant re-play like we do here in America. Something needs to be done before a no talent ass clown like Diof cuts down a promising young English keeper like Almunia.

He’s a spitter, a diver, a drunk, a foul mouthed shiat, and now he’s trying to add “leg breaker” to his resume. How much longer must the EPL suffer this person?

Conclusion

It doesn’t get much better than this: Arsenal are now 15 matches in the EPL without a loss and 4 consecutive wins in all competitions (I’m counting Roma as a win). Moreover, we’ve got Theo back, Arshavin is scoring, the midfield is playing well, we’re scoring goals, the defense is playing well, and if that wasn’t enough, Cesc and Adebayor will be back after the international break just in time for the match against Citeh and the sprint toward the finish line of the FA Cup, Champions League and the League.

Oh yeah, and we’re back in fourth place.

Truly, it’s goo goo goo to be a Goonah!

‘Kolo, we’re going to win’

My co-workers make me sick, maDe, made, sorry about that. My co-workers made me sick by coming in to work while coughing up a lung. And now, I’m sitting here, unable to sleep, but tired, coughing up what little lungs I have left, high on nyQuil.

This will either be the best or worst blog. evar.

My two favorite quotes ahead of the match today are the one in the headline, spoken by Eduardo, and this gem from Wenger

To be professional is to do what it takes for your team to be successful, no more than that. It does not mean that you go to paradise together. (emph. added)

To the first, after an injured Eduardo missed his penalty, he came back to the group, clearly distraught and instead of the woe is me that we saw from Ronaldo last year in their penalty shoot out with slippy boots Chelsea, simply said “Kolo, we’re going to win.”

I’ve been calling for a leader to step up on this team and it looks like we finally have one; a man who overcame the horror of Martin Taylor’s lunge to step back on the pitch and face hundreds of Taylor’s and score on them with flair.

Guts, Dudu’s got guts and sometimes guts are enough.

I’m also quite liking this Toure renaissance. Yes he spoke out about his feud with Cappy and I don’t like that, but he didn’t reveal much and in fact said that what happens in the locker room stays in the locker room. It was exactly the kind of clear the air that was needed.

Now, he’s out here, geeing up the club with all this positive talk. I see a lesson there for us gloom and doomers and the folks who like to jump on us: in ‘Merica we say, you get more flies with honey than with vinegar. Never mind that I don’t like flies because flies means fly eggs and fly eggs mean maggots, which are gross.

(BRING IT HOME, NYQUIL)

The point is, we could all use a dose of positive thinking and certainly some of the signs are there so it’s really good to see our stand-in captain saying really positive things. Sort of shining sunshine on those of us who have been a bit negative  of late.

I have some maxims and one is that “In a leadership vacuum, leaders always emerge.” It looks like we’ve got a few leaders suddenly emerging, and that give me great hope.

And them of course, you have to have a laugh at Wenger’s quote. “Go to paradise together” what does that even mean? Screwing on top of a rainbow? Unicorns and ponies for everyone?

I don’t get it, is that a French-ism?

Maybe it’s the nyQuil, but for me it sort of conjures up Kolo and Gallas walking off into the sunset, hand in hand, bluebirds are tweeting nearby and unicorns look up from grazing in a field of poppies by a deep blue lake.

No wait… isn’t paradise Kolo and Cappy raising Ole Big Ears while streamers pop-off near by and Cesc drinks from a giant glass of champagne held up by Jack Wilshere and Theo Walcott and the final score was 13-0 and everyone scored except Eboue who scored a hat trick and the press write about Arsenal’s “miracle season” and we all go off into the summer sun singing

“We love the Arsenal we do, we love the Arsenal we do, we love the Arsenal, we do, oh Arsenal we love you!”

In that case, I actually want Cappy and Kolo to go to paradise together.

Back in reality, Arsenal face Blackburn today and they will need all the positive imagery they can muster to overcome Sam’s lump and crunch football.

I’m imagining an early goal from Arshavin… that would be a mini paradise wouldn’t it?

Big Sam Hoodoo Has Actually Been Dead for Years

Good morning kickers, quick blog today because, well, because I feel like it.

Straight in with a two footed tackle to the shins, our opponents on Saturday (Blackburn, a pack of no talent hacks plus the greatest diver of all time) are talking shiat because they had a huge win over, erm, Fulham on Wednesday.

Half man-half shrew Stephen Warnock has sounded the alarm bells and said that they plan to run Arsenal off the pitch because both teams played on Wednesday but Arsenal played 30 minutes more than Blackburn and that means Blackburn have an advantage.

Yeah.

I just want to point out two things:

1. No Sam Allardyce team has run Arsenal off the pitch in nearly 2.5 years (Nov. 2006).
2. “You should have been in the dressing room after the game – it was like we’d just won the World Cup final. The atmosphere was brilliant.” — Theo Walcott talking about the team atmosphere after the Roma match.
3. While Arsenal did play a bit more than Bolton, I mean Blackburn, they have better squad depth and Wenger’s rotation will see fresh, quality legs like Andrei Arsaviour coming in to the match.

Now, I know that that’s technically 3 things, but I think we can sort of conflate them into two things: Arsenal are on a three game win streak (Roma is a loss but you can’t tell me that’s not a win) and Blackburn can go f*ck themselves.

On the injury front, it turns out that Eduardo pulled his groin in the Roma match (which might account for his soft penalty) and is back out for a couple of weeks. Sad, but that’s how that works: it takes time to get your body used to playing at the top level after having your leg broken by Steven Taylor.

Who Wenger will play is up for debate, feel free to hash it out in the comments.

Finally, Diaby has said he doesn’t mind being dubbed the “new Vieira” despite looking nothing like him and playing no where near the same style of game. Yeah, sure, he’s the new Vieira. Kind of like “New Coke” was the new Coke and everyone hated it.

Actually, I like Diaby and he’s grown a bit in my estimation the last few matches. I kind of touched on this when spoke about how both Song and Denilson both seemed to play better with Diaby in there rather than each other. But look, it’s a string of three games, I’m not getting ahead of myself and hailing him as the new anything until I see some more consistency. That he says “What I must do is work as twice hard in order to improve” goes a long way toward raising my hopes that he will one day be the new Vieira. But for now, I’d settle for him just being the New Diaby.

Irregardless, the match is on Setanta tomorrow and the 3pm GMT kickoff is actually at 8am PST — remember, we should be GMT -8 but owing to the ridiculous fact that we start daylight savings early over here we are temporarily GMT -7, also, this is where I usually make a joke about how Bush ruined time for America.

I can’t make it down for the live match because I’m being a responsible father but I’ve asked Doyle’s if they can record the game for me. We’ll see, maybe I can get down there around noon and have a pint and watch the game. Drop me a note in the comments if you’re in the same boat for some reason.

Ashita Mañana.

Roma 1-0 Arsenal; kids go through on penalties

Match Video

As always, the Arsenalist has the video.  I had to actually download the file from the link he provides since either my script blocker is preventing the inline video from playing or the inline video is just broken. Either way, it’s totally worth it.

Man of the Match

I wanted to give Man of the Match to Almunia because, I reasoned, keepers get to shine during penalty shootouts and since we won on penalties you have to give the nod to Almunia. If you add in that he made a game saving finger-tip save, it seemed a lock for the big fella to get the champagne.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the whole team shined in that shootout last night. Eduardo had missed the first penalty and, like a foil for the game itself, the team had to overcome that let down and just put in a solid bit of work. Which they did, one after the other, 7 in a row.

7 in a row!

These are kids! I mean, Theo has never taken a penalty before and yet he stuck it like a pro. But even singling Theo out is unfair because each one of these players, down the line, stood up for each other, and just did what they were asked.

In the end, it took 7 teammates to win that match, so I’m giving the whole team Man of the Match.

Match Reports

All the match reports I’ve read tell it like it was, which is to say, a rather shitty game. After Roma scored both teams seemed to have let off the gas a bit and the match became 120 minutes of not allowing the opponent to score.

That said, as I sat there watching Roma play defense and Arsenal try to play offense the one thing that stood out was Roma was wasting time — at the 60th minute. I can’t remember their names but there were several times that an Arsenal player would put in a good tackle and the Roma player would go to ground, and start rolling around feigning injury. Then the f*cking stretcher would come out and take this guy off the pitch only to have him pop right back up and be ready to come on right away.

I know that the carrot colored c*nt Spalletti said they were going to have a “cautious” approach but I didn’t expect them to be playing for penalties at the 60th minute. Was that really the game plan? Get a goal and then sit back and go to penalties?  Strange.

And the goal… *sigh* Totti plays in a cross, Gallas pokes and misses, Toure pokes and misses and the ball rolls through 7 more pairs of legs and slowly  comes to Juan, who is sitting on the edge of the box, skimming through his copy of Ivanhoe. Juan kind of looks around, saves his place in the book, takes a little touch, and calmly puts the ball in the net. Gross. Infuriating. Sickening.

In the end, that goal didn’t matter though.

Hell, in the end, nothing mattered; not Roma’s “game plan” (whatever that was), not Arsenal’s poor performance, not the one squandered chance that Eboue played in to Bendtner, not Totti’s leg brace, not the dive in the box, and not even Eduardo’s soft penalty kick… nothing mattered.

Because in the end, a collection of kids stood shoulder to shoulder and calmly put in 7 penalties in a row.

That’s all that mattered.

Conclusion

It almost doesn’t matter who we get paired with in the next round (who wants to bet that we get Barcelona?), or that Arsenal host Blackburn on Saturday, and Hull Shitty on Tuesday. Because as I watched the boys celebrate it occurred to me that they may have reached a moment in this most difficult of seasons that the team came together and gutted out a performance, as a team.

So, whatever happens from here on out, I’m hopeful that they can take that moment where they stood shoulder to shoulder and put 7 penalties in as a team, take that forward and build on it. No matter what else happens this season, they will always have Rome and I’d love to see them capitalize on that.